#RealDeal: Hitchhiking on a private jet is easy like Sunday morning (or your mom)

I had no idea this was an actual "thing." I am under penalty of death to not disclose exactly how we were able to do it, so I will instead tell the story of what happened and allow in certain places for you all to connect the dots and draw your own conclusions. 

So, on Friday, I got hit up by my buddy Amber asking what I was doing this weekend. 

Are you in town? she texted. 

Absolutely! I replied back, are you? 

Yes, she said. We should film an adventure. 

Great! I said. I wanted to go to Vegas for my birthday which is next week. Want to head over there? 

Yes! She said, but we should hitchhike on a jet to get there. 

<tangent> Amber is insane. Like, I know that I'm obvi insane, but this chick is NEXT LEVEL nuts with the luxury, abundance, and gritty hustle she rocks. It's SO inspiring. She knows everyone, can get into anything, and has bigger balls than I do. </tangent> 

I have meetings all day Monday, I said. Can we make sure we are back no later than Sunday night? 

Oh, sure, she said. We'll be back in plenty of time for your meetings. 

I then checked my bank account to make sure I had enough cash to buy a last minute one way flight from anywhere in the country. 

See, we would get a ride TO a place, but getting back was not guaranteed. Now, I LIVVEEE for stories but something like this is SUPER stressful since you have ABSOLUTELY no idea where you are going to land or what is going to happen when you are there. 

I. Have. To. Be. Back. Monday. Morning. I stressed to Amber. I need you to promise me. 

Promise, she said. 

I then packed my CES bag with boots, a party dress, and my vanity case. Just incase we end up in Vegas at least I'll be dressed appropriately. If we go someplace genuinely cold though, I am going to be screwed. I am going to take that gamble, I said to myself zipping up the bag. 

I then hopped on the bus and took the metro ALLLLLLLLLLL the way down to Long Beach. (Only cost $5 on the day pass.) 

I then met up with Amber at her loft. 

HEEYYYY GIRLLL, she said so excited. 

Alrite, so let's go over everything, she said as she started packing herself. 

What did you bring? 

I then opened up my bag and showed her the boots, and party dress. 

Great, she said. Let me grab something similar. 

She then goes into her closet pulling out a dress and the same CES backpack.

Yo, we should say that we are going to Vegas for CES!! 

I start laughing, a month early? 

Sure! She said excited and packing the bag. 

We then got all of our things together and went to the cafe downstairs to strategise. 

You have the connection to Fletcher Jones Mercedes Benz, I suggested, why not call them for a car? That way we can drive to Vegas and at least be guaranteed a ride back.

Great, she said, let's try Zimride too. Let me put up a post.

Moments later, she emerged from her phone. We have a ride back from Zimride, so good to go there. Let's check out Fletcher Jones though. 

She then hit up a friend of hers and he gave us a lift down to Fletcher Jones in Newport Beach. 

Here, take off those Beats (by Dre) you're wearing and put on these Diamond Tears from Monster. 

Alright, I said. I'll test 'em out. 

I then put on the new phones and fell in LOOVVEEE. 

Holy crap, I said. These are legit, and fit "snugger" than the Beats. 

I know, she said. I love them, AND you'll get so many compliments on them. 

Awesome, I said. I don't care about the compliments, but I do dig a solid sound. 

We then arrived at Fletcher Jones and unfortunately we were too last minute for a car. 

Even a loaner? Pressed Amber. 

Yes, said the sales duderino. Our service department is closed right now so we couldn't even issue a loaner. 

NOOOOOOO!!! I thought visibly shaking my fist in the air. 

Hitchhiking it is, said Amber. 

I then hit up one of my slaves (who lives in Orange County) and demanded that he take us to the airport.

We get in the car as soon as he arrives. 

Is she a domme too? asked the slave. 

Oh no, I said. But she could be! I say with a smile and a wink. 

Moments later we arrive at the airport. I thank the slave as I ask him to kiss my boot. 

He does so, as Amber starts laughing. 

Your life, she says. I love it. 
I smile as we walk into the airport. I am visibly nervous not knowing where we are going to land, or what to expect. 
Please just don't get arrested, please just don't get arrested. 

We then go and sit down in the lobby and Amber is recognized by the people working there. 

::This is the part where I can't say exactly "how" we did what we did, but just that, moments later, the President of Fry's electronics emerged from the main lobby.:: 

Amber stops him. 

Excuse me, she said, could we trouble you for a ride on your plane? 

Her candid nature and sheer ballsy-ness causes me to almost spit out my soda. 

What? says the President.

She continues, see this girl here, is pretty big on the internet and it's her birthday this week and she wanted to do something crazy and wild. I suggested we just hop on a plane and see what happens. So, here we are! Has anyone ever asked this of you in the airport lobby before? 

No, he says laughing. 

A crowd of the President's peers approaches. 

Hi, I say introducing myself. I'm Jen Friel and I created and run the website Talk Nerdy To Me, Lover. 

Hello he says. I would love to help you, but for tax purposes we have to cap off how many people are on the plane. 

Without skipping a beat I reply, but I run a site for nerds, and you're a tech company. How is this not a tax write off? 

He smiles looking down at our CES bags. 

Have you been to CES before? 

Yes, I say. 3 years strong. I'll be there again this year. 

Amber pipes up, I know the organizer too. 

Oh yeah, he says. Who do you know? 

She then drops the dude's name. 

He's not there anymore, the President said. 

Ha I'm not surprised, she said laughing. 

Then, I'm not quite sure how Monster (the headphone company) got brought up, but suddenly the President's interest was peaked. 

Do you know the CEO, he asked? 

Noel? Amber replied. Absolutely, she said. I interviewed him last year. 

These are Monster headphones, I say touching the headphones around my neck. 

The President then reaches down and grabs his phone. I'm going to call him. Will he know you? 

Yes, she said. I did this video for him. 

The President then calls Noel on his cell. 

He doesn't answer. 

I have his assistant's phone number, Amber says. 

Call the assistant, he suggests. 

Amber does to no avail. 

We stare back at the President empty handed. 

I think you girls are great, he said. You obviously have enough balls to try something like this. Come take pictures on the plane, and I'll take you girls for a ride any time you'd like after this. Here's my card. 

::he handed us his card:: 

Come on the plane, he said. 

So ... we did ... 

Thank you so so much for this, I said to the President and his peers as we emerged from the jet. You are extremely kind and I will give you oodles of love on my site. 

Not a problem, he said. And let me know and anytime I will take you girls out for a ride. 

AWESOME! We said stepping down the flight of stairs back onto the tarmac. 

ANNNNDDD just like that not only did I not miss my meetings this morning by being somewhere other than LA, BUT I made a new bestie with a private jet. 

Again, I can't reveal exactly who to ask for or what to do in this scenario (UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH) but I can say with a few of the "right" questions to ask, and a flash of credentials, ANNNYYTHHIINNGGG is possible. We were entirely honest, and did not embellish a single thing to get on that jet. 

Many, many thanks to Randy and his peers for humoring us and we are ABSOLUTELY taking you up on your offer for a ride. 

My birthday really is this Saturday. Care for a trip to Vegas??? =) =) =) 

#nerdsunite

 Special thanks to Monster Headphones for the AWESOME Diamond Tears that got us the credibility we needed with Randy. Livin the Monster life, baby!! RAWWRRRRR!! 

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#NerdsUnite: The Relationship (The One That Wasn't)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan. He was one of the first writers here on TNTML and he's a really rad mofo. I forget how we first started talking - but he lives allllllll the way over in Kansas and wants to talk to you about life from his side of the monitor in the keyword of nerd. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT JORDAN!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @SaintPepsi

I've avoided this post for a few weeks now. Maybe the wound is still fresh, although mentally I have stitched myself back together. Found my resolution. That’s the important part I think. So time to roll the story of the last 4 months. See with every new girl I fall for, I feel like I get closer and closer to the girl I am ultimately looking for. That being said, the closer I get, the harder the fall each time. As any of you who have been keeping up with my love life via this site have seen... I’ve gone through some crazy emotional roller coaster rides. I don’t just stick my feet in when it comes to love. I like to dive in and see where the current takes me. So here we go, a story that leads to yet another very close friend for life I’m sure.

I was biking home from work a while back, when a black SUV came up the road and Bullhorned me. If you don’t know what that is, let me illuminate it for you. It’s when a bunch of douchebags get their giggles off by driving around trying to scare the shit out of bikers. Anyway, I got home and threw an angry Facebook rant down about it.

What I got was a response from a girl I rarely talked to. We had hung out socially a few times at the bars, but never for long extended times. That back and forth lead to IMing and we talked for a good 2 hours. At which time she said, “Why haven’t we hung out?” I responded, “We should!” So we went to IHOP at 2 in the morning. There we dove into each other’s lives and I ended up telling her about a series of paintings I have done using my hair. I told her I had gotten the idea from the shower and throwing my hair on the wall after shampooing. Sounds way weirder than it is. She said she did that too. She told me she wanted to paint. So we left there and went back to my place to paint. Around 5 in the morning she took off. I was a little stunned. Not many people I have ever met are so free form to just jump into my life like that. Especially, the not sleeping part of my life. Trust me I make awkward first impressions at my best and it takes a while to warm up to who I am. Once you do, of course you’ll love me for life, just saying. Still I was more than a little interested in this girl. I kept my guard up because like I said before I tend to jump into things head first. I’m trying to be less susceptible to heart-ache. Didn't really hear from her for a few days until I got a Facebook message that she really wanted to hang out again. So we did.

I will say this in my interactions with girls; I want every new experience to be memorable. A new adventure if you will, every time we hang out. This time we went to one of the high points around our town and just talked for hours. We kept doing this up all night together thing over and over again. Naturally, I told her I liked her on the roof of my house under a starlit sky. She responded in kind. She really liked me too. Sounds good so far... then came the, “but.” Red flag number one. She had been talking to a guy and felt it would be wrong to end things there before seeing where they went. Told me it was something she had a lot of faith in, and that it held great potential. I couldn't fault her for that, because I had done the same thing with Laura. You remember my 8 part series on the greatest, “what if” of my life. I told her that was cool, I wouldn't pressure her anymore about it. That night she crashed at my place. No sex mind you, just cuddled up together. Thus started the great undoing of me.

Over the course of the next month we spent every spare moment we could together. We even started planning things way in the future, which went against one of my rules. You know the rules we set up to govern our actions in love. Well I side stepped this rule, which was never plan anything greater than half the time you have been dating them. I told myself, “Well we aren't technically dating.” I did however, take her out all the time, I never called them dates. To me though it felt like and were dates. Both socially and just the two of us. Still she was spending almost every night at my house, in my bed with me. It was starting to feel like a relationship, who am I kidding it was a relationship. I even gave her dresser drawers so she wouldn't have to keep driving to her house before work. I also in her own words gave her the perfect day. Where we went on a hike, saw a swarm of monarch butterflies, walked with deer, and talked about what we were going to name our future children. We had danced in the rain together. We had missed so many amazing first kiss moments. I brought that up once during a long conversation we had. She said she had been counting them. Top that with the fact that we haven’t lied to each other since we met. Complete and total honesty between the two of us. So after a few months of that; she was planning on heading back to her home town. Half a country away. I told her again, “Look this really does feels like a relationship.” I highlighted all the aspects of it that were. She responded by saying, “We haven’t kissed or had sex.” Side note she had kissed me once while drunk. I told her that’s not how I define a relationship. That’s just the perks of monogamy. In fact we had discussed our sexuality at length, which also didn't help the desire for her. We synced up in so many ways it was uncanny. Of course there were aspects of us that didn't. I like that though. It keeps you on your toes. Makes the relationship more interesting.  Still she was held up on a guy. She had told me who it was and made me promise never to divulge that information. I will take any secret someone tells me to the grave if need be. So long as I know it’s a secret. So I wrote her a letter. Remember a letter is what got me in trouble with Laura. When I fall in love and there are questions rolling in my head, I can’t get them out till I write them down. So I did just that.

The week before she left we took a trip to KC to see Nightwish. The trip seemed to be filled with failure. The bands lead singer got hospitalized, we had to sleep on the floor of my friend’s house, and she got dumped into meeting my brother without a lot of prep. Still I gave her the letter after a late night walk. She liked it. Really liked it. Then came the, “but.” She wasn't ready for me or anyone and was still hung up on the other guy. She also told me I had lied to her. Siting her Ex-husband was a storyteller as well, and it left a bitter taste in her mouth. I was stunned. I don’t lie! I don’t lie to anyone. Let alone the ones I love. She contended that it was because I exaggerate when I tell stories. That is true I thought, instilling doubt in myself. So from that day forth I decided to extract my exaggeration with girls I wanted to get to know. When it comes to talking to someone that you want to know you, why tell-tale tells. They may fall in love with the stories of you, only to find the man less than fantastic. Now my stories are generally amazing without the over the top aspects. I am and forever will be a storyteller though. Exaggeration is part of that. So I decided to cut it from the courting process alone. So when we got back and she prepared to leave, I told myself I was just going to let her go and not focus on her. The 2 weeks of her absence would do my heart good I thought. I could get away from the screaming of my mind and let myself cool down. I wasn't going to text or call without her initiating contact.

She called me almost every day she was there. We spoke at length and long into the night about all of her past and the friends she had there. She had given me every part of her back story I could fathom, swapping stories back and forth. In the course of this I really started to question everything. My mind spun like a top. Why is she calling me, asking me to just get up and move there with her, telling me more than anyone else she missed me? Especially, after telling me, “no” because I felt too much like her Ex Husband. She was still missing me. Those two weeks I wrote her I believe 5 letters, each with my own answers to questions she had about my character. Each a semblance of the love I had for her. In one, to prove to her that my stories weren't all bad: I even took a dream she had for herself and brought it to life. I wrote her dream as a reality.  She loved that one a lot. When the time came for her to leave, she wasn't ready to. However, she knew she only wanted to see one person. She only wanted one person to greet her at the airport and that was me.

There you have it my friends Part 1 of yet another tail spin romantic endeavor. Keep your eyes peeled for part 2 as the whole thing seems to unravel in front of me. One day i may find a girl that isn't emotionally unavailable. I guess today is not yet that day.

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Jordan on the twittah!

Words of Wisdom with @Jesus_M_Christ

#NerdsUnite: My name is Alicia and I'm doing 50 dates in 50 states (Idaho: The Tables are Turned)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Alicia. She's about to embark on a 50 dates in 50 states dating documentary. She's here today to talk about her views on life, love, and all things through her nerdy little eyes. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ALICIA!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Alicia Ostarello

One of the most frequently asked questions about 50/50 has been, "Well, what if a guy likes Megan more than you?" Jokes of tag-teaming aside, Meg and I know this is a likely scenario. It was never a matter of if but rather, of when. Answer: Idaho.

 Pre-Boise, the dates have been intimidated by Megan and Beast (our biggest, most reality-TV looking camera), but date #4, Corey, was merrily chattering away at Megs while she set up. And once Corey and I began running (yes, running on a date. Burn calories and find out if pheromones pique my interest. Hot), after some conversation about birth places and roommates and entrepreneurship, Corey very much enjoyed talking about Megan.

 Sure, Megs is one of my favorite conversation topics, too. She's a new friend, and up until we left for this trip, we knew as much about one another as a margarita knows about a snail. And as we figure out how to get tequila and escargot to blend together, I find myself more and more fond of the gal. Part of this trip is not only about the relationships we make with strangers across the country, but the friendship and business relationship we forge together. So at first, it wasn't weird to talk about my ever-growing list of reasons Megan is rad. Until I realized that the more I glowed about Megan, the more Corey did, too.

 Post-run, we moved onto a pub quiz. Corey invited Megan to sit with us, kept trying to ply her with drinks, and at every question turned to her for an answer (which made sense during the questions about history and Monty Python, but not during questions about 80s pop culture and language). He made sure to order enough food for her, not asking what my preference would be — which meant I wound up with a meat pizza in front of me. When I told him I was a vegetarian, he said, "Oh, I did that too for six months!" Which made it seem even more odd that he hadn't thought to ask what I liked to eat.

 Throughout all this, Megan kept trying to get into the shadows as is her way during the dates, and Corey kept bringing her into the spotlight. I kept texting her at every chance, telling her to just join us. I figured we'd all be more comfortable if she were with us — and besides, much as I like dating, I love hooking people up.

 But alas, Megan wasn't as into Corey as he was her — so we bid him farewell, got into Huckleberry Fit, and fell into shocked giggles. Once we were able to mention the incident without gales of laughter, we decided that when we find ourselves in the situation again, we would literally just high five as she became the dater and I became the filmmaker. If the boy seems confused, we'll just politely say, "No worries — we can tell you're into her. Let's just acknowledge it, and hey, now's your chance!"

It’s always an adventure out here. And a learning experience. What did I learn on this particular adventure? Well, speak the truth, even if my date is too polite to do so. 

#nerdsunite

Alicia Ostarello has combined her talents in talking to strangers with degrees in English and Sociology and is currently taking a road trip across the country with one goal in mind: to go on a first date in every single state. Follow her trip and the documentary film being produced about it, 50/50: A Dating Documentary on Facebook at facebook.com/5050ADatingDocumentary.

#NerdsUnite: Best Deal in Town

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Gary. He and I met on the interwebz not too long ago, and he wanted to come on board and document his journey to find love through online dating. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT GARY!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Gary Pinsky

I love the sound of my own voice.  Always have.  Growing up I was a straight “N” student referring to the needs improvement marks I got for behavior from every teacher in every class.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve always been a rules-following goody two shoes but I just can’t shut up.  My parents started scheduling group parent teacher conferences because they didn’t have the time to meet individually with every teacher I had during the time allotted for such matters.

By the time I reached 6^th grade I had a reputation and my homeroom teacher had a plan.  I still remember the smile on his face the first time he decried “Gary, go to the carols” referring to a set of desks in the hall between the 5^th and 6^th grade classrooms where students could take tests in privacy.  He figured that if I had no one to talk to I’d finally keep quiet.  He figured wrong.  I even more vividly remember his smile crumbling into a bewildered rage when one of the 5^th grade teachers informed him that his student was talking to himself in the carols and disrupting her class.  Carol became my first long-term girlfriend.

This intro does not relate to my dating life (although some exes may beg to differ) but rather explains my thoughts on submitting my second ever blog post.  The first submission was…well something that simply had to be done.  You can only talk about writing for so long before logical concepts such as being clear on your brand, mapping out a story line and having sufficient ongoing content all start to morph into the same thing…one LAME excuse.  Hitting send on my first article was liberating but if Jen is going to grant me periodic real estate I want any time diverted from her own special brand of awesome to be relevant to the reader instead of simply for my own personal amusement.  Following advice from the master herself, I’m just going to pull from the experiences in my life - a mixture of reports on dating, insights from all the crazy ways I try to become more self aware about my dating choices and philosophies I’ve developed that hopefully demonstrate some wisdom learned along the way.  I’d love your feedback, questions and future topics so feel to leave comments.

For this particular episode I’ll start with a unique situation about a woman I have been dating for almost a month.  I’ll start with the ending and let you know that I won’t be seeing her again but the unique reason for that decision is why I’m choosing this subject.  Although technically we did not meet on an online dating site we did meet because of an online date.  Let me explain.

One day I had an OkCupid lunch rendezvous.  I stood out front of the restaurant as she walked right past me and I kind of thought she recognized me but even with the margin of error I build in for profile pics I simply could not turn her into the person I had seen on the web.  She called me from 20 feet away and we were off and running but I was clear that this was one and done.

Generally I enjoy meeting new people even if the love vibe ain’t there however this was about to be an incredibly awkward lunch.  She admitted when I looked at her quizzically upon ordering a Shirley Temple to drink that she was only 21, not the 27 she had listed in her profile.  Huh?!?!!?  How could that ever work out?  As she continued to demonstrate slightly less sophistication than the restaurant would warrant (academy award to my waitress explaining with a straight face why steak tartare cannot be ordered well done) I just decided to enjoy my meal and go back to my inbox looking for a better fit.

Now ever since my days working at the mall in high school when I mistakenly commented to a woman about her baby on the way only to learn that ladies can have beer guts too I’ve tended to hold my tongue until I have facts to back up my assumptions about other people.  But I couldn’t help but think that the attractive woman at the next table with the very unattractive older dude might be rivaling me for worst first date.  It seemed like fate to me when her Romeo and my Juliet headed for the rest rooms within a few seconds of each other.  What the hell…it wasn’t going to get any worse.

“Quick.  If we bolt now I think we can get around the corner before either of them gets back,” I stated with mock urgency.  “Mine will probably need me to pick up the check,” she retorted in stride, “so we should just meet back at the bar 15 minutes after they have both left.”  Feeling safer that my assessment of the situation was accurate I joked that this was the first of 3 dates for me so she would need to give me her number or come back in 3 hours.  Sensing that our cone of silence may expire at any second she told me that she hoped I had a good memory and then spouted out the digits.  It all happened so fast that we never exchanged names.

Things were not about to slow down though.  I called the next day and we had our first date that night.  From the start the rapport was as effortless as that first exchange.  She is old school.  Great listener who really makes you feel like everything you say is fascinating.  Shameless flirt skilled at knowing exactly how far she could push while still seeming sincere.  The only thing that had me cautiously keeping one foot near the brake was that she glossed over answers to some basic questions in a way that felt like she was slamming the door on any conversation beyond the surface.  Not a big deal…yet…just an observation.

The next night was Halloween and she teased me a bit further by telling me that she was going to a private party and that one day if she really liked me she’d show me the photos.  I thought she was joking but if not…something to strive for!  I had an out of town business associate crashing at my place the following week so I saw my new love interest the next 4 days in a row.  Despite a lot of time spent together she still dodged questions about her job in real estate and her living situation beyond the fact that she thought her roommate had screwed her over and was staying with a friend until she could work it out.   She had a talent for…uh…distracting me when the conversation was going in a direction she didn’t like.

The first incident that shifted the needle for me from cautious to concerned came when I was talking to her about a possible double date.  My houseguest was bringing my love life to a grinding halt but I hoped we could set something up for that Friday when all of our business was done.  She seemed game so I asked her if she had a picture of her friend and let her know I could return the favor.  My business partner is very particular (and quite a catch himself) so I didn’t want an awkward evening where I finally get to see my girl only to have it end abruptly.  She said that she didn’t but that her friend had an almost identical physique and if anything, was even prettier.  When I asked her if she could send a picture of herself she said her laptop was in storage so all she had was the Halloween pictures.  I never should have asked but we had both been drinking wine and long story short…about 5 minutes later my jaw was on the floor. 

The thing that most struck me wasn’t how comfortable she was showing herself off while damn near naked.  These pictures were not snapped on an iPhone and the poses did not appear to be comfortable positions one would assume while at a Halloween party – even if it were adult themed in nature.  These snaps looked very professional.  While it was possible a fancy private party may actually hire a pro to add something to soiree I couldn’t help but hear the sirens going off in my end.  I specifically remember thinking of the alternate meaning of “tricks” when the jpegs uploaded and I’d learn the next day that my Spidey Sense was right on.  I wasn’t the only guy she was sleeping with…I was just the only one who didn’t have to pay.

She confessed mainly because the friend she was going to bring as a double date was freaking out.  Apparently, she didn’t do any pro bono work and my girl knowing that the topic would come up at some point decided this would be a relatively easy way to break the ice on the matter by starting with the spotlight on someone else.  Turns out they got a more lucrative offer for Friday night and that never happened anyway but the damage had been done.

I really want to be open-minded here and there was a time in my life where this would have had shining knight riding in on white horse to save the day written all over it for me.  One colleague I told about the situation was adamant I should keep dating her saying that he had a high school friend who turned to porn who is a total sweetheart and that women in sex industries should not be condemned to relationships with assholes.  The truth is that I have absolutely no moral opposition to prostitution and think it is insane that it is illegal.  My aversion is to drama.  I didn’t go into detail about the call I got when her friend was freaking out but it was surreal.  Maybe I’m being judgmental but it also cast a shadow on all of her rants about her ex-roommate, ex-husband and the storage facility holding her stuff hostage.  When I was younger the excitement factor and potential upsides (did I mention her love of threesomes?) might have made the risks worthwhile but this Thanksgiving season I was grateful for being at a place of peace and ease in life.  I’m sure there is another woman out there who can rock my world in the bedroom – one who also will receive a W-2 at the end of the year and dress up for work instead of undressing to get her job done.

I’ll keep you posted…

-Gary

#nerdsunite