<editorsnote>Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world. We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!!</editorsnote>
So, I changed my number a few months back (best idea ever) to clear out all of the clutter and random booty calls and texts that I get. (This is what happens when you've gone out on so many dates in just a few years.) I now have a google voice number that I have a reminder to change every 30 days, but it doesn't stop awesome bits of deliciousness from hitting my iMessage. Check this out ...
WHY WOULD YOU SEND THIS PICTURE???? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW CREEPY YOU LOOK!!!
Who does this?!?! And don't even get me started on the grammar.
PS. I'm cancelling my date tonight.(We were supposed to have a social dynamics workshop anyway, but that got pushed back a week.) I can't do it, this guy seems NUTS and I'm all for embracing the crazy, but he's also the kind of guy that is DEFINITELY going to try to make a move at some point and I am less inclined to break out my head butting skills.
Look at his latest text ...
I genuinely have a good excuse because I have a friend crashing in from out of town, but COMMMEEE ONNNNNN!!!! He's too out there. Too too out there.
Fuck, I hate being single. Tell me this is over soon.
ARRGHHHH!!!! I am. so. so. so. so. so. frustrated with google wallet right now and they will ABSOLUTELY never have my business again.
First of all, I need to breathe ....
be still like the water Friel.
still like the water.
Alrite, better.
So, when I created this site initally I used google apps to set everything up. (email, hosting, etc.) It's great because it's only $10 (which also buys the domain) and everything else is smooth, kosher and SUPER cheap.
I've always had my debit card set to automatically renew so it's never been an issue. This year, however, the debit card that they had on file got stolen at the bar a month ago. (right before I went to Miami too!!)
It then said that the charge was declined and for me to manually go in and change it.
Last Saturday, I did just that. When I went to go and reinstate things though, it says you have to email the people.
Fine, not a problem. I even called just to double check that I was doing everything right.
It is now almost a WEEK later and it is STILL unresolved and now the domain is legit expiring on the 3rd. (tomorrow)
I've called GoDaddy (where they host through) and they said there is nothing they can do and the ONLY people that have access to you have to email and THEY DON'T ANSWER BACK!!!!!!
What are my options here, nerds??? I mean obvi if the site goes down there is genuinely nothing I can do about it since my hands are tied - but before it does, how can I just renew this fucking thing?!!?!??!
It is my goal for 2012 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life.
Here's a question I got on Facebook this afternoon ...
I spent the first 24 years of my life in a serious, serious depression. This brand and this website is my fuck you to life and to the world because I was SOOOOOO frustrated with everything else that I was doing. I literally wanted to do nothing else with my life other than just start a website - so I did.
IMHO, there is no "getting over" depression. Happiness isn't a destination it's a choice. I CHOOSE every day to only do things that make me happy and I CHOSE this lifestyle (against my family and friend's wishes). It's obvi not for everyone, but it works for me and at the end of the day the self is all that matters. I can't be "something" (wife, friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister) to someone until I understand what I am giving of myself. To understand who I was I started having adventures ... and now I am here.
In the video I made hours after I got hit in the head with the brick, I was running on adrenaline.Well, it was part adrenaline and part curiosity. Since I didn't have insurance I didn't go with all the super fancy pants brain scans so I figured why not make a youtube video and see if I am slurring or stuttering?
It worked, and fortunately I was okay.
In the month after though, I had gggnnnaaarrrllllyyyy depression. It was mostly just because of the massive concussion I had, but the effects of it were very real and being reminded of the pain and unhappiness again was brutal.
This year hasn't been easy.
One of the things I would suggest doing to break the cycle of depression is create a bliss list on what makes you happy.
It can be extremely simple too, but all of the items on there should bring you SHEER joy. Identify the things you want to be doing if this were the LAST day of your life.
Mine are traveling, volunteering, dancing, running, and having sex (with off shoots of writing and taking pictures).
When you are choosing to be depressed you are denying yourself of an AMAZING existence. I. Kid. You. Not. I can't get ENOUGH of life. Yes, I get scared, yes I get super stressed (like I am now), but as long as I am executing the items on my bliss list everything else becomes gravy.
No one is going to save you from your depression. No job, boyfriend, girlfriend, or friend. You. Have. To. Want. To. Save. You.
I live every day wondering what would have happened if either one of my suicide attempts took. I was so focused on dying I never learned how to live. THEN, I got so frustrated and angry I just said FINE!!! If I am so hell bent on dying why don't I just start fucking LIVING and see what happens.
That exact moment was 3 years ago.
And here I am today.
You are loved dear friend. That I know to be true, but first focus inward and start loving yourself. To get to that place of self love you have to identify what brings you bliss. I applaud you on your courageousness in reaching out and being honest with yourself.
Rock on.
Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com
I'm clearly a magnet for crazy. Like energy attracts so this is all making sense now.
Anywho, had an interesting last 24 hours that I had to share.
Obviously this is the song that goes with the post ...
So last night, instead of heading to my buddy's party I opted to go to the Chateau Marmont. I know the dude at the door so I had an in. There was apparently some super fancy pant party and he said it was going to be pretty solid.
We (I was with my buddy Amanda) got there pretty early and he was right - the place was packed.
We moseyed on over to the bar getting our first drink and within SECONDS dudes started hitting on us. It was kinda gnarly actually. I've never tried so little at a bar and gotten so much attention.
One of the first dudes to come up was dressed as a swimmer and was EXXXTTTRRREEMMMEELLLYYY intense.
Who are you? He kept asking. I need to know you! (Sound familiar? Cough cough Antonio)
I then told him what I did and my life's elevator pitch. (Crashed the grammys, danced on stage with Prince, bartered social media to live for a year getting to 12 states with just $10 to my name and went out on over 103 dates in 9 months.)
He then told me a little bit about what he did (used to be an actor, now is a director and has a start up).
That's amazing, I replied back.
Look at you!! He kept pressing. Those eyes and that smile.
Thank you, I kept saying not knowing how much further he was going to take all of this.
Pro Tip: Easy on the compliments when you first meet a girl, guys. It's extremely extremely sweet, but can get a little overwhelming as a female.
Then, Amanda and I decided to putz around a bit.
We met some new dudes, got new drinks ... the usual.
I then started talking to another guy and Amanda walked back to the first dude.
A few minutes later I went looking for her.
She grabs me as the first dude went to use the restroom.
He won't stop talking about you, she said. What did you do to this guy?
I started laughing. I DON'T KNOW!! He's super super intense. I feel like either my face is going to get chewed off bath salt style or he's going to start humping me. There is going to be no middle ground!!!
I need to see you again, he pressed by the end of the night.
Okay, I said. Here's my number.
I then gave him my real phone number.
Great. This is great.
He then continued getting super intense and all up in my grill.
AHHHH, I thought. Bathroom. Escape escape!!
I then snuck off and started talking to a few more guys.
As we were getting ready to leave, he found me again.
I need to see you again, he repeated.
Dude, I gave you my number, I said. This is ABSOLUTELY out of my control at this point. The rest is up to you.
I'm going to call you, he said.
Great! I'm looking forward to it, I said in frustration - what more can I do in this moment?
We then hugged and parted ways for the evening.
Then, this morning, I woke up to a phone call from a number not in my phone.
Without thinking I just answered it.
Hello, I said.
It's MEEEEEE, he replied enthusiastically.
Hello, I said immediately knowing who it was.
What are you doing, he replied?
I'm about to go get coffee, I said.
Where? he replied.
Uhhhh, at Starbucks, I said.
Which one?
Uhhhhhh, the one on Santa Monica.
I live right by that one, he said. I'll meet you there in 15.
He then hung up the phone.
This guy is fucking nuts, I thought and he now just invited himself to have coffee with me.
I then put on a sweatshirt, powder, and ran a comb through my hair.
A coffee date before my shower wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but smelling I could get a story out of this I decided to run with it.
I then went to the Starbucks, ordered my coffee, and moments later he arrived.
I wanted to pay for your coffee!!! He said excited.
Wow, look at you, he said.
It's lovely to see you again, I replied.
He then ordered his tea and we sat down outside.
So tell me more about what you do, I said trying to remember everything from the previous evening.
Well, I'm an entrepreneur. Used to be an actor.
Anything I've seen, I asked?
Yes, he said.
Okay ... like ....
I don't want to talk about it, he said.
Were you in porn, I asked?
No, he said.
Noted. Moving on.
We then talked for about a half hour about life and love. This guy is a BUNNDDLLLEEE of energy and has these MASSIVE blue eyes that are like saucers.
This is so intense, I thought.
I want to take you out on a date, he said.
Okay, I replied. I'm going to San Francisco sunday (more on that in a second) but I can kick it tomorrow night.
Great! He said super excited.
Alrite, well text me, I said standing up. Looking forward to it.
He then gets a few inches away from my face and says, tell all the other guys you are dating that a REAL MAN is chasing you now.
I immediately start laughing.
Did that really just come out of your mouth? I thought.
That's a good one, I said. Thank you.
I then walked away.
An hour later I get this text message ...
You know the saying "game recognizes game?" Well this is crazy recognizing crazy. I am fucking nuts. I am the FIRST one to admit it ... but this guy??? FUUUCCCKKKKK he's bat shit.
And, now I have a date with him tomorrow.
I just hope I don't end up in jail in a third world country ... my virginal bum hole might not be able to handle it.
Oh oh ... San Francisco ... lemme get back to that super fast.
So, I have the BIIIGGGGEEESSSTTT crush on Ben Way. He popped on my radar screen because he's in the new Bravo show Start Up: Silicon Valley.
I'm actually genuinely surprised I haven't bumped into him before since we both run in the same circles and I'm social media buds with his sister. Either way, I asked him out and he's totally game and even invited me to the premier party for them on Monday. Now, thanks to my buddies over at Lyft who offered their transportation services again, I am en route up there and I'll be in SF Sunday night til Tuesday morning for my date with Ben.
How many times have you heard of stories of friends screwing up when they have been asked to meet the parents of their beloved women? Well, let’s be honest, dating a woman and meeting her parents to take it up a notch are two completely different ball games and it will need you to up your game appropriately in order to ensure that you don’t join the long list of men who are remembered as people who screwed up at the most important time.
Meeting the parents, if goes well, is an activity that can boost your relationship quotient and strengthen the bond that the two of you share. On the other hand, a failed meet will surely spell doom for you and your partner. Nervous, much? Well, after successfully using all the dating advice for men that’s available, now is the time for you to make use of the following 2 tips to perfection to make a stunning impression on her parents, like the way you did when you met their daughter for the first time:
1.Dress To Impress
Go back to the oldest cliché that is there in the boom for creating impressions during dating and meeting her parents and adhere to the motto that ‘the first impression is the last impression’. Well, how can you be going around making some seriously positive impressions about yourself and the relationship? The easiest and most obvious answer will be the choice of dress that you have for the all-important meeting.
It is necessary that you dress perfectly for the occasion taking care that you are neither over emphasizing on it neither are you ignoring it too much. This will ensure that you create the right amount of perfect impression on the parents of your partner and in the process win the first round in impressing them. You can ask your girlfriend about the gathering that you can expect for the meeting and the tastes, likes and dislikes of her parents when you are trying to choose the right dress for the occasion.
2. Be The Perfect Balance
No parents like to have their daughter in the hands of a man who is unsure about his career. This is why it is important that you are able to advertise yourself and your career properly in front of the parents in order to win their heart and consent. At the same time you will need to ensure that you are not being overtly proud about your achievements in front of the parents of your partner.
This is why it is important to learn how to strike the sweet spot of balance between prides and overtly modest when you are discussing your career with the parents. Remember that it is not a job interview with a CV and resume and the whole affair, you just need to be honest, humble and forthcoming in the right extent to make yourself a hit with her folks.
Add to these 2 extremely important tips the likes of grooming yourself for the occasion and ensuring that you have all the stories and incidents sorted between the two of you, and you just have the recipe for a perfect ‘meet her parents’ scenario.
Friday, November 2, 2012 at 1:22PM
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