#Status: Single. A 6 Month No Man Mission (hands)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Tiffany. She's a love addict who is now purging herself of men in the hopes of finding a cure. Think she can do it?? She has given herself six months, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT TIFFANY!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @nomanmission

Did you ever hear that you can tell the size of a guys penis by his hands? Well, I have and as a result I have been studying men’s hands for years. As soon as I think a guy is cute, I look at his hands. Short, thin fingers=short thin penis. Long, thick fingers=long thick penis. You get the picture? As women, we are kind of just hoping for the luck of the draw. We can’t really predict what they have going on down there, unless you look at their hands. It is tried and true. Try it, see for yourself. I would love to hear your feedback. I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to waste my time with a guy who has short, thin fingers, ya know what I mean?! That is terrible, vain, and only slightly, true.

These days I look at hands a lot more, because after 2 ½ long months of no sex, I am dying over here. It is kind of ridiculous really. Don’t even get me started on becoming the Master of My Domain, that is a whole blog post in and of itself. Actually, now that I think of it, it is quite appropriate that I named this entry “hands”.

The point is, I am like a dog in heat. I hate this NO MAN mission, but I love it. Right now, a man could have the perfect hands eh, hmm “Ken” and it won’t matter. See, I am keeping myself out of trouble by being on this mission. I have even been a good girl and not indulging my ex when he sexts me. I am so proud of my progress and  I found an amazing outlet for all of this sexual frustration. Working out. It really helps to “work it out” in some weird way.

I’m all talk really, I wouldn’t shun a guy because of his hands...but don’t think I am not looking, because I am. So, if you see my eyes looking at your hands, you will know what I’m thinking.

My name is Tiffany, I love man hands, and I am really f’n thankful I am on this mission.

#thatisall

click here to follow Tiffany on twitter!

#Status: Single. A 6 Month No Man Mission (addicted to the pursuit of love)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Tiffany. She's a love addict who is now purging herself of men in the hopes of finding a cure. Think she can do it?? She has given herself six months, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT TIFFANY!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @nomanmission

I have a new BFF and it happens to be a man. We will call him "Dirty Bob" upon his request. He believes along with my other BFF who happens to also be a man say that I need to go out and have meaningless, no strings attached sex to cut the cord from my previous relationship. They believe that I shouldn't have a "no man mission" rather a "no relationship mission". I can dig that, especially right now on a Saturday night, alone with a glass of red wine and my new blog.

Like I mentioned in my previous blog, I am not the kind of girl to jump in bed with just anybody, but I'm also not the kind of girl who stays single either. So, where does that leave me? Right now, it leaves me reeling. I have been single for almost exactly one month. I swear, I am wearing a sign on my forehead that flashes "single", "available", "looking for flirty fun". Guys find me in the grocery store, they find me at Christmas dinner, they find me at work, they find me at yoga, they find me everywhere I turn. Damn these men. Don't they know I am weak and I am on a "6 month NO MAN mission"? Dirty Bob has me believing that I need to just go out and "do" it up. Dirty Bob and TU both have me believing that I need to just go out and get laid. That would make this much easier. Or would it?

As of now I am sticking to my "6 month NO MAN mission" but god forbid a super adorable boy that has a hold on me comes around...I may have to change this to a "6 month NO RELATIONSHIP mission". I hope not...stay tuned.

My name is Tiffany and I am addicted to the pursuit of LOVE.

#thatisall

click here to follow Tiffany on twitter!

#Status: Single. A 6 Month No Man Mission (NO NON-DATING ALLOWED)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Tiffany. She's a love addict who is now purging herself of men in the hopes of finding a cure. Think she can do it?? She has given herself six months, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT TIFFANY!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @nomanmission

“I think I should consult my “NO MAN MISSION” manual to see if this is even allowed” I said to myself as I got ready to go out. Yep, I came close to a relapse this weekend boys and girls. It was bound to happen I suppose. I felt like an addict who was acting shady, avoiding people so that they don’t ask questions. As I drove home I felt like I had just been hanging out with my drug buddy, like I bought the drugs but didn’t take them. It felt like I had the drugs in my possession and they were calling my name, enticing me, reminding me how good it felt to be on them. When I arrived home I found myself engaging in casual conversations with Tim (roomate/baby daddy/friend for life/family). Thank God he didn’t ask what I did that night.
 
Since everyone knows I am on my NO MAN mission I feel somewhat safe, and until recently I hadn’t met anyone that made me feel like I could fall off of my NO MAN wagon. Well, there was “Kryptonite” but that is another story. I digress. Since I work with this person I feel like it is okay for me to hang out with him. I will call him “Trainer”. “Trainer” is a personal trainer, a yogi, he is cute, charming, spiritual, filter-less like me, he has enthusiastic energy, and I dig it. We are into the same things, we get along wonderfully and when I am around him my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Shit, this feels good, but somehow, bad at the same time.
 
Even though I am single and free to do what I want, I feel like I am doing something I shouldn’t be doing when I am around “Trainer”. I still feel like I am dishonoring my ex by enjoying the company of another man. I know I feel this way because it is too soon for me to be attracted to someone else. It has only been a little over two months since “Someone” and I broke up. I even hesitate to write about this because by writing this, it may actually “cut the cord” between “Someone” and I. I am not ready to feel his pain when he knows that my energy is being pulled from him and us- but perhaps that his what needs to happen to break us both free from something that will never work.

In the end, I stayed in control and did not break my “NO MAN mission”, but I’m pretty sure I was indulging in a “gray area” which, as we all know- there is no gray area with my “NO MAN mission”.  I might have to amend my “6 Month NO MAN Mission” contract to say that “NON-Dating” is allowed. “NON-Dating” means hanging out, each paying our own way, and not having any physical contact. I said in the beginning of this whole thing, that if an awesome cutie came along I would not shun him, but he would have to hang around and just be my friend. “Trainer” is doing that, but then again, I could be making justifications. I am good at that.

My name is Tiffany, and I am a man-a-holic.

#thatisall

click here to follow Tiffany on twitter!

#Status: Single. A 6 Month No Man Mission

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Tiffany. She's a love addict who is now purging herself of men in the hopes of finding a cure. Think she can do it?? She has given herself six months, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT TIFFANY!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @nomanmission

Since the age of 14 I have been in one long term relationship or another. During my most recent break up after 3 1/2 years I decided it is time to take myself off the market for the next 6 months. This will not be an easy task for a boy crazy girl like myself. I am absolutely in love with being in love. I am a HUGE flirt. I love the feelings of butterflies in my stomach, the euphoric feelings when navigating a new love, the excitement, the newness of falling in love. These are the reasons I always end up in a relationship. I have never been the kind of girl that likes to date multiple guys, I won't jump in bed with just anybody. I love LOVE. I crave it, I live for it.

Because I am such a hopeless romantic I jump in head first when I get those feelings and think that they will last forever. They never do from my past experiences and scientifically it has been proven that after a couple years those feelings fade. All sparks fade out. When those initial feelings go away I am left bored, lonely, unfulfilled and looking for that next euphoric feeling. It's like a drug for me, it is my addiction. Yep, I am like the song Addicted to Love. My name is Tiffany and I am addicted to love.

So, this is my outlet to chronicle my "6 month NO MAN mission". What is this mission exactly? Well as much as I would like to have a gray area, there isn't one. It means for 6 months starting on December 15, 2011 I will not date. Does it mean no making out, no sex, nothing, I lament? The answer is yes, much to my dismay because I can't imagine no intimate contact with another human for 6 months, but this is my mission, my growing time. Even as I type this I get a tightness in my chest because to be quite honest, I don't know how I will do it for 6 long months. No dating, no making out, no sex...only friends..EEEEEK..

I realize that in order to be good for a relationship one must be content with being alone. One must know what it is like to endure long lonely nights, to be okay with ALONE. So far I have not had any experience in that department. Even if I wasn't in a long term relationship and "single" I had a guy in tow. 2011 was an incredibly transforming year for me so why not take that transformation a step further and overcome my addiction to being in love? Shit this sucks. There should be a support group like AA for this sort of disease!

In this blog I intend to share my experiences, the good bad and the ugly moments. Will I be honest if I fall off the wagon? Yes, as much as it will suck to admit my defeats, I will. I have several people holding me accountable to this "6 month NO MAN mission" because just like any other addict, I am weak when it comes to my addiction. I am not completely closing myself off to possibilities because if Mr. Right comes along I won't shun him, but he will have to hang around and be my friend for the next 6 months. The bigger challenge will be for me to resist if Mr. Right comes along. 6 months Tiff, be strong!

Men, I will be available to date on June 15, 2012. Too bad Mars will be leaving my sign a few weeks later. Of course I would choose the one time that Mars stays in my sign for 8 months rather than the usual 7 weeks making me irresistible to do a "6 month no man mission". Why can't I ever just take the easy road in life? Not my style, never has been.

I special thanks to JK for giving me the idea to do this. Right now I curse you for it, but I'm sure someday I will thank you!

#thatisall

click here to follow Tiffany on twitter!