Fun with #OkCupid: 3 different emails ... 3 different responses

First up, if you haven't read my OKC profile - you can check it out over yonder. Might make some sense to the things guys reply to, haha. But for reals, these are all actual emails I've received recently, and my actual responses back to them. It is through this transparent experience that I hope you all can take away some knowledge on what works and what doesn't in the hopes of making your online dating experiences that much more fanschmastically awesome. YAYYYY ONLINE DATING YAYYY!!! K ... cool ... here we go ...

I get asked all of the time about my motivation for going out on over 103 dates in 9 months. The first thing you have to understand is that it was ALL accidental - and documented in real time. I went out on 96 dates in 8 months, and while I was dogsitting for a friend watching the Bachelor decided to write a reflection piece on my dating experiences thus far. It was from that, I stared at the numbers realizing I had something here ... something big. I then decided to package it stopping at 103 for branding and marketing purposes. If I had sought out to go out on that many dates from day one I would have either a) burned out or b) lost interest. I was couch surfing at the time, so I was already committed to running this site morning, noon, and night at that point - and this was how I had a social life. I never let guys buy me dinner (too time consuming) but I indicated in my profile that if they bought me a beer, I'd give them a hug. I was TOTALLY transparent through the entire thing even noting that anything the guys said to me may end up on the site.

My role for 2012 is ABSOLUTELY going to transition, as I have learned through working with a dating coach and a shaman that I have personal blocks that I've had to get through ... but I'm putting in the work and getting shit done ... that's all I can really do.

I know now what I like, and what I don't like. I don't get boy crazy very often, I'm just doing my thing and if a guy can keep up - great! If not, coolio Julio, it's all a numbers game. 

This isn't a joke, it's my life - and I am very committed to living the SHIT out of it every.single.day.

Actual Response: rad! thanks so much! i actually had a really great date with a guy who i am only 75% with last week - so its making me rethink a lot of things. i did the 103 because i was couch surfing. i got a lot of attention for that and for my life in general, so i had to reel it back a bit. i now am shifting the business to act as an adviser and help dudes out with online dating understanding what works and what doesn't. im just along on the journey! and afterall, isnt that the destination!! =)

be well!!! xoxoxo

Emails like this will never, ever work. I can't begin to tell you how many, "hi, hello, or hiya" emails I get on a daily basis. Take two seconds to actually read my profile, pick out ONE detail, ask me to elaborate - and BOOM! I'll respond. This is pooey, and no one likes poo.

Actual response: None

Note to nerds, when emailing a chica on OKC, make sure you SPELL HER FREAKING NAME RIGHT!!!

It's Jen, one N, no A.

Actual response: None

There ya go nerderinos. Best of luck out there!!!

#love

Fun with #OkCupid: 3 different emails ... 3 different responses

First up, if you haven't read my OKC profile - you can check it out over yonder. Might make some sense to the things guys reply to, haha. But for reals, these are all actual emails I've received recently, and my actual responses back to them. It is through this transparent experience that I hope you all can take away some knowledge on what works and what doesn't in the hopes of making your online dating experiences that much more fanschmastically awesome. YAYYYY ONLINE DATING YAYYY!!! K ... cool ... here we go ...

Wait, hold the phone - the VERY first thing the dude starts out with is, "I'm sure you're not going to get the time to read this ..." Of COURSE I read everything - I'm actually looking to date, so why wouldn't I be reading everything? This shows me a strong lack of confidence on his end and is totes no bueno. 

Actual Response: None

This is a GREAT email. He's being complimentary without kissing my ass ... he's confident, but not cocky and seemed genuinely interested in what I'm doing which of course peaks my interest. (At the end of the day the first email always always always has to be about the female.) I could tell this guy actually read my profile since he pulled a few details from it, and his personality jumps off the page! 

Actual Response: ello Tom! 

well thanks for reaching out! greatly appreciated ... best part about couch surfing was the ability to work a solid hustle morning noon and night. you can't sleep in when you're on a couch - gotta get up and get moving!! =)

This one confuses me a bit. He's about to check out the page, but he thinks it's genius. How does one know that if you haven't actually checked it out? All based off the idea? okay ... I kinda get it. 

You then want to help me build off of it with something you have, but again - you haven't checked anything out, so where is the value add in this for me? 

You've been meaning to message me, but you're swamped? What is it that you're doing now? Not messaging me? 

I can tell this guy is going 100 mph and is more likely than not about to crash into a wall. He seems too all over the place for me, and while I am glad he sees the value in what I'm doing I'm absolutely absolutely absolutely not interested in dating or working with him. 

Actual response: None

There ya go nerderinos. Best of luck out there!!!

#love

Fun with #OkCupid: 3 emails ... 3 different responses

First up, if you haven't read my OKC profile - you can check it out over yonder. Might make some sense to the things guys reply to, haha. But for reals, these are all actual emails I've received in the last 48 hours, and my actual responses back to them. It is through this transparent experience that I hope you all can take away some knowledge on what works and what doesn't in the hopes of making your online dating experiences that much more fanschmastically awesome. YAYYYY ONLINE DATING YAYYY!!! K ... cool ... here we go ...

Actual Response: THE. INITIAL. MESSAGE. IS. THE. MOST. IMPORTANT. PART. When it comes to online dating, and particularly on OKC where it is a free dating site and women are INUNDATED with messages - you want to keep it as simple and light as possible. Pick ONNNEEE specific detail from her profile, and ask her to elaborate. That's all a guy EVVEERRRR has to say. Using my profile as an example, an email I would respond to would be something along the lines of ... Have any good bar recommendations in NYC? I'm going to go there (as it says I was recently there) soon (keep it truthful, only ask if you are going to actually be there). It's open ended, and will make me freak out and go OMMMGGG yes yes yes!! I had the best XXX at XXX and it will change. your. life. 

That'll work. But yeah ... very very very important - keep it simple and specific. Easy peasy. Hope this helps!

Woooahhh ... this was a gnarly email. Why did the dude put himself immediately in the friend zone? I'm not on OKC for friends, I'm here to find someone to date! Why ask if I want to be friends?? 

Dudes, go in for the kill when it comes to online dating. WE. ARE. HERE. TO. BE. PICKED. UP!

So friggen pick us up!!! This guy was way too timid, and that lack of confidence is a turn off - I didn't even click his profile.

Actual Response: None

Sure ... lemme take a look ... 

Alrite - got a great default pic, clear shot of his face with no hat on or glasses of any kind!! Good job! 

lemme read the profile ... 

HAHAHHAHA omg this guy is HILARIOUS!!!!!! His personality BLEEEEEDDDSSS from the monitor, jumps out at you and makes you cry uncle. 

Good job man ... dare I even say - perfect job!! 

Actual Response: Two thumbs WAYYYYY up! If you lived closer, were a year older, and had a third nipple I might even marry you! Work on that!! =) 

Hope this helped you guys understand at least what is out there. Happy dating!!

#love

Fun with #OkCupid: The truth about one night stands

SOOOO!! I just got an email on OKC from a dude looking for a one night stand .... check it out!

I have to admit, I'm kind of not mad at this email.

I know the societal pre-disposed response should be ... FUCK YOUUUU!!! How DARE you think of me as a ladyyyy like that!! OMG OMG OMG OMG FUCK YOU!

Want to know my response?

I kind of felt like congratulating him - because he's right! I only didn't congratulate him because I genuinely didn't want to lead him on ... but he got it! Sexually speaking, I'm unbelievably submissive.

Dudes, I run a business and play in boys clubs all day every day. When it comes to sex and dating, LET ME BE THE GIRL!!! Take the lead ... don't ask me where I want to go, what I want to do - I just want to be with you! So surprise me with something. Dinner ... movie ... whatever, just be the dude, take the lead and let me shut off my big brain.

Guys don't seem to get that about me, and it's SOOOO FRUSTRATING!!! When it comes to business I am VERY aggressive. I have ZZEERRROOOOO problem grabbing shit by the balls and taking charge. That's business me - personal me, wants to be taken to a nice dinner then thrown around, fucked up against a wall - whatever, use your imagination - but you get the idea. Let me be the chick, man!!!

But yeah ... back to the actual email and the notion of a one night stand in general - I'm not mad at it. I've done it in the past (chicago ... anyone anyone ...), frankly half of the last 2 years have been spent waking up in weird random places (and documenting). Now however, I have been making conscious decisions to not do that anymore. (YAY for no more casual sex!!) It's shallow, and really doesn't get you anything other than awkward stares on the bus in the morning, and a pair of cranky pants from not getting any sleep.

The truth of the matter is guys, women aren't mad at having a one night stand, you just have to catch her at the right time! I know all of my friends have done it, and at a certain time and place in your life - they're not a bad thing! Very honestly, had I been attracted to this dude, and had it been 6 months ago, I prolly would have taken him up on it. We're animals, man. We need food, water, and sex to survive - it's a primal instinct, and to deny that is inhumane.

It has a time and a place, and based on the sheer odds that this guy is being so direct in asking - chances are, he's gonna get it.

Mazel tov duderino!!! Cheers to your orgasm, now excuse me while I go and watch this video of a woman freaking out over a sperm whale's penis ... 

#kthxbye

Click here to read his response

Fun with #OKCupid: 3 emails ... 3 different responses

First up, if you haven't read my OKC profile - you can check it out over yonder. Might make some sense to the things guys reply to, haha. But for reals, these are all actual emails I've received in the last 48 hours, and my actual responses back to them. It is through this transparent experience that I hope you all can take away some knowledge on what works and what doesn't in the hopes of making your online dating experiences that much more fanschmastically awesome. YAYYYY ONLINE DATING YAYYY!!! K ... cool ... here we go ...

HAHA rad story dude, but meeehhhhh this didn't really do anything for me. I actually had a really really really rad time on almost all of the dates. Well, minus this one of course - but for reals, you can read in the thesis that I genuinely genuinely genuinely adored the dudes, but the only problem was me which I am now working on addressing.

Actual response: None

This one was sweet. Clearly this guy is really really nice, and his words were very kind - but I dunno, I dig dudes that just go in and grab shit. You have to have a balance - I want to date the nice guy, but I also want the dude that at the end of the day will just come home from work, throw me against a wall, and fuck the shit out of me. I don't really get that from this dude.

Complimentary? Yes.

Kind? Absolutely!

Makes me wet? Not even close.

Gotta have that balance.

Actual Response: Aw, thanks man!

I actually get this ALL.THE.TIME. Dudes are definitely interested in what I do, but they don't want to read about me they want to kick it and learn about me IRL. The only problem is, to get to that point you have to have a hook - something to intrigue me, which the majority of them fail to do. At the end of the day, I might now accidentally be a professional dater, it's still a sale. SELL. YOURSELF. TO. ME. Don't make it all about me. Pull one detail from my profile, ask me to elaborate and throw in an anecdote about yourself to add a layer of emotional investment. There's no personality in this email, I very honestly didn't even click on his profile.

Actual Response: None

Click here to view my OKC profile. Hit me up ... but not all Tina Turner style, cause like, that would hurt.

#kbye