However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?
Oh yeah and Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Today's Unkie Chuck Norris says is brought to you by @BenParr.
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else. 
Oh yeah and Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.
You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.
Oh yeah and contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Teachers open the door... You enter by yourself.
Oh yeah and Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
Friday, January 29, 2010 at 9:19PM