#Fact: My big blue dildo just got me flagged in security at LAX

omg omg omg omgggggggggg!!! These experiences I have while traveling MAKE MY LIFE!!!! 

So, I'm currently chillaxin at my gate at LAX, but a few minutes ago while walking through security - I got flagged. 

Lemme break it all down for you ... ::scooby doo beginning - scooby doo scooby doo:: 

Picture it. Los Angeles international airport - half hour ago. 

I travel very very very lightly. Even with ALL of my equipment I need to film for the TV show, I will never travel with more than 1 backpack and 1 duffle bag carry on. Even for when I traveled for 30 days last month!! Seriously - I am an expert expert expert traveler. (Comes in handy when you give up everything you own and barter social media traveling around the country for a year.) 

That being said, one of my traveling pre-requisites is my dildo. I am seriously the horniest chick on the planet. I work hard, play hard, and like to be fucked hard. Now, that I am without a fuck buddy, or having casual sex in any regard - I still gotta do, what I gotta do. 

Yes, you heard that right ladies and gentlemen ... I ... @JenFriel ... masturbate ... and own a dildo. 

::SCANDAL:: 

It's big, blue, and gets the job done. 

That being said, it is also one of the things I travel with. I guess you can say I won't take off unless I can get off. OOOHHHH ::rim shot:: (omg, haha that was bad) 

So, this morning I was packing, and getting everything together rather last minute, putting my dildo in the bag as well. I've always been conscious of wanting to avoid a vibrating bag going through security - so I at least make an effort to do my part, and fly a bit more under the radar by taking out the batteries. 

This morning however, I had a brain fart. 

Totally forgot to take out the batteries.

Not necessarily a problem actually since as I went through security the thing didn't go off - but that wasn't the only problem. 

I passed through the metal detector, and went through everything pat-free, no problem. 

Then, as I was waiting for my bag to finally come down the belt, I see the woman stopping and staring at something in the bag. 

Oh no, I thought, as I stared at her screen (which was facing my direction) - she is definitely staring at my dildo. 

She zooms in - my greatest fear confirmed. 

OMFG this is going to be hilarious, I thought. 

She looks over her shoulder to see who the bag belongs to.

She looks back at the screen, then back over to me ... 

The bag is then brought down the belt. 

Is this your bag, ma'am? She says

Yes, yes it is - I say confident but afraid that now I am going to have to show my dildo to the people in line behind me. 

Whatever, I think - I will OWN this shit! Ain't no shame!! Well, it is only 10 am, but AIN'T NO SHAME!! AIN'T NO SHAME!! Omg, someone please hide the children ... 

She then whispers - just so you know, take out the batteries next time and you won't be stopped. When the batteries are left in it sets off an alert on our screen. Sealed with a wink and a smile she wishes me a safe flight. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg, I think - you have officially just made my day and my LIFE!!! 

Hi-gh-larious!! And thank you very nice TSA agent for not making me take out my dildo. WHHEWWW!! 

Note to nerds, remove the batteries from sex toys before going through security. 

#amazing

#NerdsUnite: 2 girls, 1 livestream- NOT GOING LIVE TONIGHT!

Big big BIIIIGGGGG news nerderinos!!!! So big in fact - I can't even tell you all of it right now, mwahahaha!!! 

@MeowMistiDawn and I are not doing our livestream tonight. Nope, nope, nope. We're not going to do it for another two weeks or so, and when we do come back on air, it is not going to be a livestream. 

I know ... I know ... but you have to understand, I had bigger plans for this project. 

Dudes, I predict trends. That's my shizzy shiznat - and that show was COMPLETELY based on inspired thought. Misti and I were walking around Comic Con this year, and it hit me like a ton of bricks that we should do a show together about sex and relationships. Dudes would ALWAYS ask me about dating, but stop short of sex. To have a porn star there, and get to ask her anything??? AH-MAZING!!! 

What I do then is test out these ideas online, and using viewers/ uniques measure how sucessful it is - that show went very very VERY well. 

I will then take those numbers and give them to people I am dealing with/ networking with, and say BOOM a tangible figure of what we can provide, and from there they will choose to either work with me or not. It's so effin rad man! Just get out there and DO DO DO!! People are inspired by action!!!! 

In this case however, I didn't even have to do that! Last week we were approached by this duderino, and I can say that in a couple of weeks we will be going live again - however not on Ustream. 

That's all you guys can get for now. Big big big things coming soon nerderinos!!! 

I'm so effing grateful, man. Thank you thank you thank you for all the emails, comments, tweets. I REALLY believe in this show, and REALLY believe with our combined perspectives Misti and I can really help you guys out. I am humbled to be of service, nerds. RAAAWWWRR!!! 

#loveyousolongtimeithurts

See you guys in a few weeks!!! =) =) =) 

and click here to watch the video to see what all the fuss is about ... 

#NerdsUnite: Confessions of an Unwed Bride

<editorsnote>  Julie Wilson recently endured an agonizing break up with her fiancé after being together for 8 years. She is now in her late 20s and confused about what to do next. These are some of her frustrations, and ways she is attempting to heal from her loss. </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Julie Wilson

The Price Of Being A Loner

He was my everything.

It's saying to the person you are with, "No pressure or anything, hun, but you're my whole life."

I've realized that's a big reason why this breakup has hit me so hard. I let so very few people in. Now that I don't have a lover or a best friend, I'm really lonely.

My ex was a social crutch for me. He was so many things that I wanted to be. Charismatic, independent, funny and very social. I watched the way he interacted with people and took notes. When I first met him, my new social life was exciting. All of a sudden I had a whole new group of friends! Around the same time I met him I started to wait tables. There's nothing like walking up to a table of strangers and pretending to be their best friend to make you learn to open up.

I never fit in as a kid. Other kids just never got me. Summer day camp is a perfect childhood example of my social awkwardness. School was hard but I could usually find one or two people that liked me. Summer camp though? Not so much. (Thank goodness for the existence of books. They hid my face when no one wanted to play with me . They allowed me friends when I had none.) The summer day camp I went to was housed in a local middle school. We would often go over to the gym area and play racquetball . Some of us, either the girly or not so athletic types would hang out in the hallway and make lanyards. One day one of the counselors put his foot down and declared that all of us had to participate, that none of us could sit out making lanyards today. I was really bummed, but I went up to this one group that contained a friend and asked if I could join. The leader girl looked me right in the face and told me no, all with a smirk on her face. I asked around and couldn't find a group to join. I ended up hanging out with the female counselors doing guess what? Making lanyards. I remember being really surprised that they let me, but I also knew that they understood that I was the outcast.

The moment I stopped giving people that much power over me at 14, I was cool being a loner and made a bunch of friends. The moment you don't care, people want to be around you. But back to college. I had just ended my first year at Florida State and it didn't go so swell in that I barely made any friends my first year there. It was a complete social failure. And then I met him. It was like a way out of social rejection. He already had friends to hang out with. So, I let him make the friends and then I got to hang out with them with the added bonus that I didn't have to be the one to maintain the friendship. Perfect for someone who never seemed to get it right. Now, I'm not incapable of making friends and I definitely had my own circle from my restaurant job, but over the years it was just easier to hang with his friends. My ex is really funny and tells it like it is. Which is awesome because it filtered out the riff raff; the assholes and the high maintenance girls, buuuuut if that girl happens to be someone you work with and she is capable of making your life at work miserable because she's besties with the manager, having a boyfriend with no filter might just suck at times. Like I said, just easier to hang out with people who obviously liked his colorful personality, his friends.
 
Compound all of that with the fact that we moved a couple of times. After I finished up college at Florida State, he realized typical college wasn't for him and he wanted to go to an art/tech college in Orlando. Not my ideal city to live in, but I didn't have any sort of plan so I was cool with the move. So we started over, made all new friends. And then left them all and moved to Los Angeles so he could get into animation (again, I was more than down to move to LA. I looked at it as an adventure). The move to Los Angeles crippled me. We were so broke and thousands of miles away from all of our family and friends. I grew up in a very nice suburb outside of Fort Lauderdale. Everything was brand new. And clean. LA is not clean. It's smoggy and local businesses aren’t even allowed to hose off the area outside of their stores because it wastes water, just sweep it (some do anyways of course). It was a lot for me to take in. One of my first days there I saw a bum piss on the back of a bus stop bench. I freaked. My ex laughed and said, "Welcome to LA!" as I turned pale. So at this point I have no close friends because I keep moving away from them. The city intimidates me. Plus, I sold my car and we are now down to one car, a stick shift that I couldn't drive. Now I physically relied on him as well. 9 months after moving to Los Angeles, I got my current job. I just didn't feel like any of my coworkers liked me or were interested in hanging out with me. Plus, massive sized company and I had only ever worked at companies where there were about 50 employees total, so I felt invisible. My social anxiety kicked in at this point. Hard. I was convinced everyone hated me and I made myself miserable. More clinging to my ex. He very literally at this point became my everything.

When we were breaking up, I realized that I really didn't have anyone out here on this coast. There was work to be done. On ME and MY LIFE.

I've had no choice in recent months but to go outside of my comfort zone, drop the social anxiety that had been plaguing me for two years and make friends. And I have. I am very pleased with the way that once I really made an effort to meet new people I did. Once you open yourself to something and your energy reflects that change people recognize it.

Although, there's nothing like having tons of people around you to make you feel alone, like no one really knows you. No one out here really does know me. Except for him, the person who knows me better than anyone else on this entire planet. But I will continue to forge ahead and keep trying.  There is no other option. Sink or swim.

I can't stress enough how important it is in a long term relationship to keep your own identity! It is so easy to just melt together into one person. I've seen so many couples just slowly give up little pieces of themselves for the other person until they don't have their own identity. The tricky part about this is that in a way it feels so good to do this for another person. And who wants to think about the breakup when you're waist deep in love? Well, think of it this way: you are not only protecting yourself in case you and your other half break up but you are actually preserving the relationship by maintaining a level of mystique and thus keeping yourself interesting to the other party.

I was talking to one of my best friends the other week about this. She also just got out of a long term relationship (7 years). We are each other's sponsors, lol, for moral support.

Her: I can't believe how much I just gave up for her.

Me: Yeah, I know, like how do you forget about the most important person in your life? YOU!

Her: Seriously. I would have never gone to that awesome lecture if I was still with her. I would have rushed home instead. But ya know what? I know this is fucked up, but I would do it all over again if we got back together.

Me: Yeah, so would I. And that's what I'm afraid of.

#nerdsunite

 Click here to follow Julie on Twitter

#WTF: About the last 48 hours ... can I get a rundown? (Gabriel Macht, Pete Wentz, broken water heater, & Charlie Sheen hooker)

HAHAHA oh boy. The adventures never stop do they ...

So, on Friday at like 12:30 I was pacing around the apartment wrapping up a phone meeting with this rad chickadee (I am COMPLETELY incapable of sitting still while talking on the phone. Especially if I'm pulling out creative ideas, or explaining something - I have to, have to, have to, bounce around), and I look over and see water in the hallway.

My roomie has a cat, so my immediate assumption was that the cat knocked something over - so I walk into the hallway prepared to clean the mess up, and as I am hanging up the call (we were done at that point), I open up the door to the closet where the water was coming from and am IMMEDIATELY SOOOOAAKKKKKKKEEEEDDDD from head to toe.

Oh fuck my life - this isn't a closet, this is where the hot water heater is!! And the thing sprung a leak!!!

One thing I can pride myself in is staying ALARMINGLY calm in situations like this. I can immediately remove the emotional/ shock elements and jump into next doable action breakdown.

Step 1: Call roommate, get landlord's name and info.

I call the roomster at work, and she gives me the info that I needed. I then proceed to run downstairs to get the number (which was located by the mailbox). I call the landlord and explain the situation - he says he is going to call a plumber and will have someone out today.

Today, I firmly respond back. Oh no, we need someone NOW! Can you tell me how to turn off the water at least?

I be right there, he says in an accent not recognized by a specific geographic location.

<tangent> I never got that part. ALL of my landlords living in LA have had some thick, heavy accent, but you can't figure out where it is from and they're usually so crusty and rude to begin with you don't even want to bother to ask. </tangent>

Not wanting to take my chances waiting on the plumber or the landlord with the not recognized by a specific geographic location accent (as water was SHOOTING OUT!!! Like SPRAYING OUT!!!! like MASSIVE amounts of water coming at a VERY strong rate), I turned to twitter ...

NERDS TO THE RESCUEE!!!!!!

I honestly had no idea there even was a valve or anything to this thing. Out of all my crazy/ weird/ apartment stories, none of them have involved a hot water heater. ANNNDD the instructions that were on the actual tank were more for the gas, not for turning off the water.

I looked all over, up, and down the fucking thing and for the LIFE of me could not find the valve.

I then ran outside to start knocking on neighbor's doors to see if they knew.

<tangent> Remember, this is LA - I've lived in this town for 7 years and have known ZEEEERRROOOO of my neighbors during that time. I've lived in buildings with my friends and what not, but people just do their own thing here. Melrose place, this is not. </tangent>

Now, running outside and banging on neighbor's doors is one thing, and dramatic in and of itself - but let me also explain to you all that I was in my now soaked gray bathrobe with an electric blue towel on my head at the same time. (What a great way to introduce yourself to the neighbors!!) So I wasn't just running around banging on doors - I was running around looking like a LEGIT crazy person banging on fucking doors.

It was hilarious, and the entire time I kept laughing thinking this needed to be filmed.

Finally after knocking on the 6th door, I got a neighbor that was home and he came by to help explaining the same thing happened to him a few months back. Stupid landlord with their stupid hot water heaters that don't stupid work.

After almost a solid 30 minutes with water pouring out, the landlord finally arrived with the plumber in tow and turned off the water to the apartment and subsequently replaced the hot water heater.

Not before some awesome pics were taken though ...

The tank sprung a leak somewhere near the top so I grabbed the mop to plug it as best as I could and put pots and pans beneath it to collect the water

The roomster came home from work early to help me clean up the mess as we didn't want to have water damage

Friday was hilarious. Fortunately, because the roomie came home I was still able to go to my meetings in the afternoon, ANNNNNDDDD not lose out on too much of my day.

Did it suck having water come spraying out of the hall soaking me from head to toe? Certainly. But at least we were able to slide around on towels for an hour during clean up - so that was fun. Life hands you lemons - grab a glass and add some alcohol! Whoop whoop!

SOOOOO ... that happened.

Then last night, I wanted to get a group together to kick it before I leave to go back east tomorrow. I had to go to a friend's birthday too, so we settled on Dillons in Hollyhood since it was centrally located for everyone, and walking distance to the birthday fiesta.

The roomie and I grab a city bus and head on ova to Hollywood. After a few minutes of bus riding, Nsync's tearin up my heart comes on my iPod, and I proceed to grab the roomie and do some chair dancing mimicking their awesome moves.

It was AHHH-MAZING!!!

I then met up with everyone at Dillons and we grabbed some brewskies before heading over to the fiesta. Dude, $3 beers!!! Like SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!! Love love love Dillons.

We then walk over to the birthday party, have a few more drinks, and sometime around 2 we were kicked out.

Not wanting to go home just yet, my buddy Russ suggested that we hit up Greco's down the street for a piece of their AAAMMMAAAAZZZIINNNGGG pizza!!!

<tangent> Seriously nerds, Greco's is like CRACK when you are drunk. Their pieces are SUPER HUGE and SUPER yummy and totally sold by the slice. </tangent>

We walk up to Greco's, and there are paparazzi outside the place. AHHH fuck. Only in LA would there ever be a line not for actual food, but to get in because there is some celeb there.

We push past the photogs and wait in line to get our grub.

I look around wondering who the fuss was about, and as I turned my head to the left, I saw Pete Wentz with his new super hot girlfriend.

Seriously, girlfriend is BEAUTIFUL!!!

<tangent> Pete is the duderino from Fall Out Boy, but more known for his now failed marriage to Ashlee Simpson. </tangent>

I don't know - the guy does nothing for me. I'm not mad at him, whatever, to each his own ... but again, did nothing for me.

I will say though, two thumbs up for taking pics with fans. Most celebs can be pretty fucking douchey when it comes to posing for pics - he seemed to not have a problem with it at all. Good job, dude!

So after waiting in line for a bit, Pete leaves, we finally get our pizza ... and after 20 minutes of digesting I have some serious yummy-bits in my tummy-ness.

UUUGGHHH!!! Grecos stop being so deliciousssssssss!!!

We go to throw our stuff away, and I look over and SMACK my roomie on the arm.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG, I say. You are NOT going to believe who that is.

Who? She says wondering if there is another celeb spotting.

Orange dress ... 3 o'clock ... that is the nanny/ dj/ hooker from the Charlie Sheen intern post. It's the fucking hooker that asked me if I was looking for love, I scream into her ear. (HAHA!! That story is really funny ... read more here)

I have a picture of her back at the house from when she gave me her card - just remember that face. OMG OMG OMG!!!

We laugh as we are leaving, and as we are standing outside saying our goodbyes to Russ (the rest of the group all went home after the bar), I see this guy walking out of the restaurant who looks like a CLONE of Gabriel Macht (aka my other future baby daddy - sorry Pete Cashmore). He stepped closer and more into the light.

OMMMMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFGGGGGGGGGGG that is Gabriel Macht I think.

Mind you too, I had been telling a story or something to Russ and the roomie. I stopped MID SENTENCE to stare. I was knocked on my ass STAR STRUCK!!!!!

<tangent> Dudes, this never happens to me. But when I have an uber crush on a dude, I literally get scared silent out of not wanting to say anything stupid. Remember what happened when I crashed the Grammys to meet Pete? The first words out of my mouth were, hey! I recognized you by your jaw line. SMOOTHHH, I am not. </tangent>

The second he steps out of ear shot I jump up and down ... OMG OMG OMG you guys!! That's Gabriel MACHT!!!!!!!!

Who, they both say in unison.

Get our your phones. Google "G-a-b-r-i-e-l_M-a-c-h-t"

OOOHHHHH they both say in unison.

Um yeah.

That was the dude that just walked by and is walking down Cahuenga RIGHT NOW!!!

UUGHHH!!! I love love love Hollywood.

Anywho, that happened. The roomie and I then said bye to Russ and headed back to the apartment where I tore apart my desk to find the card from the nanny/ dj/ hooker - after a few minutes I place my hands on it.

THIS IS HER!! THIS IS HER!!! The hooker from Barneys that we just saw!!

HAHA, you're right! she says

Seriously, only in Hollywood would shizzy shiznat like this go down. I love love LOOVVEEEEE you Los Angeles!!!

Excitement all around. Alrite, duderinos - next up, I gotta finish writing out the series of posts on my first adult heartbreak. You can read the latest chapter here. Then I gotta pack for NYC baby!!! Will be there for meetings all day on Tuesday, and then depending on how late everything ends - I'm either that night heading on a bus up to Boston, or the next day. So much hustling, in so little time.

I'll be doing either a coffee or beer meet up with everyone on Tuesday the 4th in NYC, so if you wanna hang just follow me on Twitter and I'll tweet out a place where we can all meet up! @JenFriel

Peace love and lollipops nerderinos! Thanks so much for reading!! =) Gives me an excuse to have all these adventures. ::mwahahaha::

#nerdsunite

#GeekSpeak: The sometimes random misadventures of @Abby_Cake

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Abby. I met her in Chicago at the #20SBSummit, and this chick is raaaddddd!! She considers herself more of a nerd than a geek - but I think she's just all shades of random and awesome. Oh and FTR, the TNTML stance on nerds versus geeks are that nerds are products of a genetic predisposition, and geeks are raised. BOOH-YAH!!! I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ABBY!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Abby_Cake

I have been on the pill since I was 17. Originally to regulate my period, presently because I like sex. However, if you recall my last birth control related post, I decided to get an implant in my arm that would effectively eliminate the risk of pregnancy and render my period into obscurity. Sign me up, amirite? But, I was on the pill until the end of August: specifically Previfem.

Why does this matter? Well, my Mom called me yesterday to tell me she received an interesting letter in the mail.

<b>Mom: </b>"So, uh, it looks like your birth control has been recalled."

<b>Me: </b>"But... it's in my arm?"

<b>Mom: </b>"No your pill, last month they messed up the packaging so you might have taken it in reverse. Do you still have the package because it might not even be yours."

<b>Me: </b>"Hell no, I threw it away weeks ago!"

<b>Mom: </b>"Oh, well, I figured I'd better tell you because if you're pregnant I didn't want you to think it was your new birth control. And it's probably not good for you to be drinking so much if you <i>are</i> pregnant. I mean, I am sure you aren't pregnant... but you know alcohol isn't good for babies. So maybe no margaritas tonight?"

<b>Me: </b>"I have to go...."

As I mentioned, my new birth control basically made my period obsolete so I <i>haven't had one</i> in a month. Naturally, I made the logical first step which was totally freaking out, followed by looking up the recall on Huffington Post, followed by Tweeting about it, followed by a trip to the drug store.

If you've never had to buy a pregnancy test before, you should do it just for funsies. It's way more awkward than buying condoms. I had this look of petrified terror on my face that I was certain everyone could sense; and the cashier always sort of analyzes your emotions like Data from Star Trek. It's awful.

Pregnancy test procured, I went back to my apartment where I told my boyfriend, "Wish me luck. At least we know their college would be paid for with the lawsuit I would level against them." Uncomfortable laughter followed.

It should be mentioned that peeing on a stick is not as easy as it sounds (does it sound easy?). I ended up backwards on the toilet with my pants all the way off. Then, there's the epic 2-3 minutes of impatiently sitting (with or without your pants still off) while the stick considers your fate.

Ultimately, it was negative.

*cue marching band of relief*

Suffice to say, I was completely freaked out and am really glad I am not taking a pill anymore. I mean, DO YOUR JOB PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES!! There was NO NEED to ruin my perfectly good Saturday night of watching Star Trek in my pajamas.

xx, @abby_cake

#nerdsunite

Want more from Abby?? Check out her blog over yonder - and don't forget to drop her a follow on twitter!!