#NerdsUnite: Confessions of an Unwed Bride (Julie's Guide to Healing From a Heartbreak)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet by buddy Julie! She's my roomie, we met on Craiglist, and she is 1,000 flavors of everything awesome sauce. The reason why she had a room in her apartment however is a mighty long story. See, Julie was dating a duderino for 8 years. Yep, they were engaged to be wed and all that snazzy jazzy stuff. Now the engagement is off and Julie is attempting to heal from her loss; these series of posts are her best attempt. HIT IT JULIE! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ItsMeJoolie

Sooooo....

Going through a breakup, huh? I'm sorry, because I have most definitely been there. As you can read through previous posts, I went through a pretty traumatic break up and made it through it. You can, too. I promise.

I want to make something CRYSTAL clear first! I would never, never tell anyone what they should NOT do in this type of situation. You will probably do something unhealthy or stupid in this phase. I won't judge you for it. All I can do is tell you what worked for ME. So here it is: Julie's Guide to Healing From a Heartbreak.

Step 1: Indulge the pain.

Eat some ice cream. Wear sweatpants. Hide under your comforter and cuddle with your cat. Take a day or two off of work. And cry, cry, cry. Watch Sex and the City. Call your mom and friends.

Step 2: Pamper (make yourself look hot).

As a consequence of Step 1, you may have put on a pound or two. (I was the opposite, I stopped eating until I dropped 15% of my weight and my hair started to fall out). Either way, if you look like shit, you're going to feel even worse about yourself and the whole situation. Here's where working out comes in handy. You look like shit and you're an emotional roller coaster. Take all of that emotional energy and work it out! Transfer the want to cry into running on a treadmill. Someday soon, you will want to start dating again. Think about all the new hot people you can date. Think about running over your ex's face a million times. Take that asshole! For me, I couldn't have gotten through the healing process without yoga and meditation.

Then go to a salon and get your hair cut/colored. Get your nails done. Get waxed. Get ready.

Step 3: Party like it's 1999.

I went out and partied. My God, did I party. I couldn't bear the thought of being home by myself. Be careful with your alcohol intake here. You owe yourself a couple of sloppy nights, but let's not give yourself something else to feel bad about.

Step 4: Forgive yourself for whatever stupid shit you did between Steps 1 through 3.

Step 5: Get your shit together.

I was always spot on when it came to paying all of my bills. I had this schedule that I would follow- pay a,b, and c the first half of the month and x,y, and z the second half. When my relationship ended, so did that. Shit got paid when it got paid. So take a breath and look around and see what you can clean up. Make sure you're performing as you should be at your job. Here I am a year and a half later and the other day I looked at my filing cabinet and realized that after all of this time, it was still a mess and that I really need to finally go through the stack that developed while I was nursing my wounds.

Step 6: See a therapist.

You don't have to see this person forever if you don't want to. Maybe it's just for two months. It might depend on how long the relationship was, if there was legal stuff to work through (divorce), children involved, how bad the betrayal was, etc. I couldn't shut the hell up during my recovery. All I could talk about was my ex. My poor mother listened to hours and hours of me verbally working through the littlest sentence my ex said or me ripping apart an incident in the past. Give your friends and family a break. The last thing they want to do is hurt you but they are tired of listening to you talk about your break up!! A neutral third party can help you to see what is really happening and help you to work through it.

Step 7: Work On You.

This can mean different things to everyone. For me it meant building out a network of friends. Discovering hobbies. Getting back to what made me, me.

Step 8: Have an Adventure.

I was sad. I wanted to feel happy. Short of doing drugs, this is the best method for getting away mentally for a bit from your problems. It made me feel alive at a time when I felt dead inside. It also really helped boost my self esteem because I felt like I woke up from a coma and I had missed out on life. Doing new stuff made me feel alive and exciting. Some of the adventures I went experienced include:

Zip lining in Asheville, NC
Partied for the first time in Las Vegas
Dancing on stage with Prince
Skydiving for my birthday

San Diego Comic Con (first time in SD and I slept in my car)

Step 9: Give Yourself Some Credit

I recently discovered the TV show Intervention and was so drawn in. I couldn't believe how these people were just willing to throw their lives away. And they had all of these people around them who loved them. One night I watched two episodes in a row and both of them focused on women who turned to drugs/alcohol after they lost their significant other. It shocked me and made me realize that I could have let myself fall apart. I could have just given up. I felt really silly about being proud of myself. But dude! I didn't let this ruin me. In fact, I'm happier than I have ever been. And you can be, too. 

Good luck!
Love, Julie

#nerdsunite

Click here to follow Julie on Twitter

#NerdsUnite: Life Effin' Happens

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Morgan. I met him when he was the manager at the Coffee Bean near my house. See, I was the mayor at the time, and then explained to him one day over a vanilla latte the awesomeness that was Foursquare and a few months (and many more coffees later) we totes became besties and he started writing for the site. This is life as told through his eyes in the keyword of nerd. HIT IT MORGAN!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @maniacalmorgan

December 2010, I took a leap of faith, forever changing my professional destiny. For four years I was stuck in the same old rut- serving coffee to complete strangers for next to no compensation. Through the amazing support of friends Jen Friel and Tucker Gumber (just to name a few), I decided to get up and take control. Within a month, I had landed a job with SpiritHoods doing their social media and have been happily employed as the "Director of Social Media Marketing" for the past year. Yay life!

For those of you who don't know me, hello! My name is Morgan. Not only am I a total nerd, but I'm also unapologetically awesome. There are many of you who don't know me, but I go back a few years. Since taking on my position at SpiritHoods, I've had next to no time to write here on TNTML, but here I am. Nerds need loving too. Enough of this little tangent. Back to the story.

Life effin' happens to me on a seemingly regular basis. For instance,when I was 21 I found out through MySpace that I was adopted. You have to roll with the punches and adapt to the circumstance. Sometimes, when things seem to reach a stale mate, the puzzle pieces seem to just come together. I've lived in Los Angeles for 90% of my life. As much as I love it here, there has been a voice in the back of my head telling me that I need something different. I need a change. In July, one of my good friends (of 10+ years) from NYC came to visit me during 4th of July. I've always loved this girl and she's been an awesome friend, but things went from love to love. How would things ever work out between two people on opposite coasts? In August, I went out to NYC to visit and not only did continue to fall more and more in love with her, but I fell in love with NYC. Could it be that the puzzle pieces, which I never even realized were pieces of a puzzle, were starting to fall together? After spending a few months over on the East Coast, I decided that it this was the change I needed - I'm moving to NYC.

So great. Now that I've decided to move 2,000+ miles, what's the next step? How am I going to support myself. Having known Jen for a few years, I seem to always have her voice in the back of my head telling me, "Morgan, you're awesome. Go be awesome." I have this passion for social media, but what do I do with that. It clicked- I am going to start my own business. Talking about the pieces coming together, I remembered that I had a friend who owns her own PR firm who just opened a new office in Manhattan. After talking with her, not only is she making introductions to some of her clients, she is giving me office space to work out of. I gave myself from October until December to figure out how I was going to support myself in NYC, and I actually met my goal. Social Media, here I come!

Here's where things get dicey. I am making the move into self-employment sooner than expected. SpiritHoods is my first client, and as of now my only client. Wouldn't be a problem, but I am making this transition starting February 1st. Let me tell you, in the freelance social media world, one client isn't enough to support yourself. Like the theme of this post, life effin' happens. Adapt and overcome. I could be scared and paralyzed by the thought of not knowing what I am going to do, but that's not me. It's crunch time and I'm hustling. Despite the fact that it's happening sooner than expected, I welcome this change with open arms.

Don't let your destiny control you; control your destiny.

#thatisall

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#Amazeballs: Welcome @TNTML to the twitter

SOOOO, in an effort to make us all official and like fancy pants since we're becoming a super big biz and all, I am happy to announce that TNTML has a company twitter! 

Dudes, did you read Ben Parr's announcement??? Kind of amazing. Not gonna lie. 

I will always always always want to do crazy shit, and try to bend reality as much as possible, but Ben is here to offer his knowledge and his expertise as Senior Advisor in a more traditional way and help us expand. Can't be mad at it, the kid's a genius ... and I'm listening. 

This site was designed around my personality, but there are now over 50 writers that, as you all know, have equally cool shit to say and that deserve promoting. Ben and I have created a twitter account solely for the site that you all are invited to follow to make sure you don't miss out on a post.

Let's face facts though, not that anyone really cares - but it's the right thing to do, and it looks SOOOO PRETTY!!! LOOK! 

All of the people the TNTML account will be following are contributors or staff members of the company - so feel free to follow them as well (this means if you write for us, and you're not on twitter yet ... GET ON THAT SHIT!!)- and yah man, we're just gonna keep this up to keep you all up to date on events, posts, all that jazz. 

Sound good? 

RAD! 

Click here to follow and let's party like it's 1983 and we're Lionel Richie ... 

#allnightlong

::happy dance:: 

Surprise, You're Adopted! (part 2)

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @maniacalmorgan

Just so you know, I hate using the term "foster." My mom and dad are the ones who put their blood, sweat, and tears into raising me. I might not be their biologically, but they are and will forever be my mom and dad.

Oh my goodness. I know there's been a relatively large gap between this post and the last. This last week has been an emotional rollercoaster like you can't believe. Let's just say the root of it lies with a girl. Sounds about right, eh? So, let's get to the story at hand. I'm adopted and this is how I found out.

If you haven't read part one of Suprise, You're Adopted, you can check it out here. So, I got the message in my Myspace inbox with my two closest friends sitting there with me. I finished reading the message and was just in awe. I didn't know what to believe. I still thought it was just some crazie messing with me... but, what if it wasn't? My two friends and I went out for dinner. As soon as we got our table, I went outside to call the number enclosed in the message. *ring ring ring* I can tell you, I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack. I didn't know what to expect. This couldn't be real. She picked up the phone. The second I returned her "hello," she burst into tears. She knew immediately who I was without me even having to say anything. I told her "I'm sorry if I'm skeptical, but I don't know if I believe all of this." She began to tell me what time of day I was born, how much I weighed, she knew I had my appendix taken out when I was 12, and that I recently had laser eye surgery. Holy crap. She told me that my mom had sent her a few letters over the years, filling her in on what had occurred. Holy shit. I ended the phone call, still unsure of what was going on. My head was swimming with all of this. Was it true? What does it mean? I shrugged it off and tried to enjoy the rest of my dinner.

The next day, I had lunch with my uncle. We go out from time to time and already had this planned. We ate, chatted, and had a good time. He's awesome and I love him. He's a total nerd, so we connect :p. Anyway, towards the end of lunch, I told him I needed to ask him a question. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach. Ohmygodohmygod. I almost didn't want to know the answer to the question I was about to ask. "Am I adopted?" Surprised, he just kind of looked at me. "You need to talk to your parents," was his reply. That confirmed it for me. I wasn't angry, sad, or even upset. I can't explain the feelings I was having. At that moment, my life changed. Drastically. 

Working the night shift, I left lunch and went straight to work. I kept busy to try and keep my mind off of recent events for the sake of work, but that was nearly impossible. I took a break to call my dad. "Hey dad, I need to ask you a favor." My parents are the early to bed type. They are in bed at the latest by 9PM. This was a Thursday. My mom had a girlfriend weekend planned and was leaving the next day. My mom has always been the super sensitive type. I didn't want to bother her before she went on her much-needed vacation. "Could you wait up for me? I'll be home by 12:30AM. And don't worry, no one is pregnant." I felt a wave of relief wash over his voice as he agreed to stay up and wait for me.

Alright, so this is another breaking point for me. This is going to be a long story. I'll try and give you the next part sooner. Again, there's so much going on in my personal life, it makes it hard. I just haven't had the motivation to write, as this is an emotional story for me. I can only take so much! Anyway, I'll be continuing soon!

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#HowTo: Prep for the Biggest Meeting of Your Life

I have the biggest meeting of my life tomorrow. I've literally been trying to write for about the last hour how I feel and I keep typing, deleting. Typing. Deleting. Typing. Deleting.

That's not like me - at all. I pretty much just post random shit just so I can get it out of my head. I don't really think about people reading it. Actually, come to think of it, I don't even think I'm deleting it because I'm thinking about people reading it, I am just so fucking excited.

I think one of the hardest things anyone can ever do in life is learn how to step up to their own plate. When we're growing up, we are told to be here ... to be there ... do this ... to do that ... need permission for this ... you'll get in trouble for that ... it's a hard thing to be so conditioned like that as a wee one, and learn how to just break free from it as an adult. Ever wonder why we give permission slips to be Unapologetically Awesome? Cause otherwise, I know you guys won't do it! We always look for that little psychological cue. Get it?? Eh? Eh?! There's always a reason. Jiggggaaaaaaaaaaa

I'm really excited. We just got off a call with one of the duderinos, aka the hollywood god. I just like want to pinch that dudes cheeks. When we had lunch last year, I emailed him right back saying I wanted to work with him. Who knew what one year would bring - ahmazing. But for reals, he told me to just let loose on all my ideas for marketing and emerging media ... which to me, just makes me wanna cry. It's like finally! Finally!! I feel like I've been SCREAMING at the top of my lungs for the last year telling people, please, please, listen! This is a HUGE area of opportunity!! I literally just want to cry. I'm so thankful. I know these people are smart, and I know they're going to do something with it - which is just this huge relief to me. It's like FINALLY. THANK YOU!!!! We're already talking about your project, why the FUCK aren't you setting up the platform for us to do so!?! They just don't know! No one really knows what they can do with social media, the education on all of this is CRUCIALLLLLLL!!!

I just can't believe tomorrow I am fully stepping up to the plate, and I know it's going to be a homerun. There's nothing they can't ask me about this space that I don't know. I've been eating, sleeping, and breathing it in an extremely unhealthy way for the last year. OMG I can't believe I am turning into such a chick and tearing up as I write this ... I just, have worked so hard. So hard. And I didn't know what the "right" opportunity was - but I knew I wasn't going to ever give up. NOONNNNEEEE of this has been easy. I assure you, if I wasn't such a sick and twisted individual, I would have given up a long time ago. Not having any money is not easy - but it's certainly motivating. If I had sold a piece of the brand, or dude, even just ad space ... it wouldn't have kept me as hungry. I knew what I was doing, I just didn't know how to articulate that. This didn't start off as something that I wanted to do for money. I thought it was a cute idea, and by studying trends I was incredibly confident that it would work ... but no one knows for sure.

I love this video by Unkie Steve Jobs ... I've posted it a million times, and it deserves it a million more ...

Best advice ever: stay hungry - stay foolish.

Being hungry will keep you motivated, and being foolish allows you to think outside the box, and in certain cases even reinvent it. When it comes to anything worth doing in life, you can't chase the dollar. Money is just an illusion. It's all bullshit. It comes, it goes - and the adventures you have in between are really all that will EVER count. I cannot stress that enough.

I heard no less than 100 times that I was crazy. I heard no less than 100 times that what I was doing was foolish. I heard no less than 100 times, we're not interested. I heard no less than 100 times, get a job. I heard no less than 100 times you could just sell and this would all be over. My friends didn't know what to do with me, my family even stopped speaking to me for a bit ... this UNSHAKABLE belief that I was onto something, and your support was very literally the only thing that kept me going. Omg STOPP BEEINNGG A CHICKKK!! Here come the water works.

You guys mean the fucking world to me, man. Do you know how hard it is to wake up in a car, but hear heyyy! You've changed my life!! It's bat shit. But I knew it was part of something greater, I just couldn't see the whole path yet. Even now, I still don't know what tomorrow is truly going to bring, but I know I am more prepared than ever, and ready for ANYTHING ANYONE has for me.

#bringit

"You can do anything you set your mind to."