#Awesomesauce: I got to nerd out!

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

Brian got a new job a couple of months ago, and he is working with some scientists (finally! a job in his field!) and this awesome guy Stewart (the dude that mostly was responsible for hiring him) hired me to do some family pictures.  They are crazy cute and I love love love their kiddos.  Anywhoozle, their youngest daughter's name is Piper, which is my daughter's middle name.  I love it. 

When I first showed up at their house, I met their dog, Tycho.  When I first heard the name, my immediate thought was, "Like Tycho Brahe?" but I didn't say that because I have never met anyone else outside of class that knew who that was.  So I just assumed it was for something else.  I had to meet up with Stewart today to give him some pictures, and I asked him why he named his dog Tycho.  IT WAS TOTALLY BECAUSE OF TYCHO BRAHE!  Tycho Brahe was a way badass astronomer in the 1500s, my favorite astronomer.  He is actually who Keppler studied under, and Keppler is a pretty dang big deal (but he really learned most things from Tycho).  He had a silver nose because he lost the tip of his nose in a dual!  He was totally pompous and aggressive, started fights all the time, and tried to become a Danish king.  Didn't so much happen.  He was awesomesauce to the max.

We also got to chat about why I love macrobiology instead of microbiology, which he studied.  I like to be able to see things to understand them.  I don't like to go off of faith or assumptions, especially in science, and if I can't see molecules or genes I have a hard time believing that they are what everyone believes they are.  He agreed.  Man, it is so great to be able to say things and have someone understand them!  Aaaah.  It is so hard to find niches that you can talk your own brand of nerdy to.  I love that I have this awesome site to nerd out on, and I have a great group of photographer friends that I can speak the lingo to.  Life=good.

Talk nerdy to me on Twitter or Facebook, and I'll talk nerdy back!

#NaughtyMommy Happenings - how to make almond toffee

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

I live in Grand Junction, Colorado, and almond toffee is a big effing deal around here.  We have this local company called Enstrom's Toffee that makes tons of it and ships it all over the country.  Apparently it's delish, but I don't like toffee, so I mostly just like eating the chocolate off the top.  Pretty danged expensive chocolate habit, for reals.  Everyone else in the world seems to love the stuff, and not even joking it is way expensive to buy for people, so I decided to make it this year. And becuase I'm super awesome it turned out great after some adjustments, and I decided to share it with you.  This is a pretty forgiving recipe, you just have to pay attention to it.  Because it burns and that makes it taste like the pink part of a cat's butt.  You will need 2 sticks of butter, 1 3/4 cups of sugar, slivered or chopped almonds (if you want), and some chocolate (I used chocolate chips).

To start, melt 2 sticks of butter over medium heat.  Or medium low.  Whichever, but probably medium low if you aren't a ninja like me.  Right before it is all melted, add 1 3/4 cups of sugar.  Start stirring with a wooden spoon slowly.  The sugar will sort of incorporate.  You will be tempted to taste it.  Do.  It's not bad.  Continue stirring slowly (a figure 8 is a good pattern to go for) and just watch it.  This would be a good time to put clothes on...the butter will get hot and might pop.  Don't want to burn the nips or nards. 

It will turn a strange light brown color and look kinda gross.  That means you are doing it right.  Keep stirring.  For reals, you are going to have to stir the entire time.  Deal with it.  All of the sugar will incorporate for a while, then the butter will separate out.  Don't freak out.  Throw in your almonds.  Keep stirring.  Forevvveeeerrrr. 

When it turns the color of peanut butter (it's about 290 degrees, but don't even worry about that), take it off the stove.  Kick up the stirring a notch from slow to just trying to get that damn butter to stir back in.  When you get it mixed in as best as you can, take a spoon and scoop some of the butter off of the top if there is any left.  Pour the whole gloppy mess into a cookie sheet lined with wax paper.  Don't get it on your skin or you will want to die.  Put the cookie sheet over the sink or on the oven or a cooling rack or something so that hot piece of hotness doens't warp your counter (290 degrees, remember?). 

Once the toffee cools, melt some chocolate and spread it over the top.  I like dark chocolate, but milk chocolate will do.  You can melt a chocolate bar, melting chocolate, chocolate chips...whatever you want.  Spread it on the toffee, and plop it all in the fridge.  Or leave it on the counter if you are patient and won't stick your fingers in it.  I sprinkled the tops with toffee bits and crushed almonds, but it's totally not a necessity.  When it's all hardened, flip it over and bash it lightly with something, like a rolling pin or the bottom of a pan.  This will break it into manageable pieces.  Feel free to eat most of it, but try to give some of it as a present.  Throw it in a small tupperware or some of those clear plastic bags that you can totally get at the dollar store.

The end!  People will think you are so amazing - and you totally will be!  Good luck friends!

TwitPic me or tag me in a Facebook photo so I can see the amazing results you are coming up with!

#Epic Christmas Cards

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

Christmas is only a few days (and by that I mean holy shit I'm not at all ready and I still have a shit load of presents to make, as in all of them, oh my effing god), and many of you may be getting your Christmas cards prepared (well probably not since this is the digital age and no one really sends cards anymore execpt I actually got quite a few in the mail this year), so I thought I would provide a little inspiration.  I hope you are all feeling as overstimulated as me (actually I don't want that because I hate being overstimulated and I am on my way to being a crazy person at this point and need to slow it on doooooowwwwwwwnnnnn).  Anyways, bye.Pretentious weirdos are always funny.Grandma loved the holidays, you know that.There aren't enough words for this one. Wow.Have yourself a hardcore Christmas!It's like totally awesome to dress like totally the same with your like totally rad doggy sweater and super cool side pony. Totally.Why would my kids be the focus? My sweet flop boob and red hair should ALWAYS be the focus!I honestly don't see what's supposed to be funny about this. This is how we dress on the weekends.I may be seeing a recurring theme...weirdos and their cats....sad, sad existences.ElfYourself eat your heart out!

Find more funny and ridiculous crap at FunnyOrDie.com or AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

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#Randombling: @JenSquard

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: ‪nothing. silence is my friend right now.

Dang, today was a rough day.  I try to take the kids out of of the house at least once a day, but we have kind of been cooped up the last couple of days.  We left, but not until after Brian got home, so it really doesn't count, and the damage has been hardcore.  They get defiant and naughty, and I get grouchy and short-fused.  Not fun for any of us. 

The hubs decided to take me on a date since I was feeling deflated and cut off from the world.  We decided to just do dinner since my mom had the kids, and it was not so good.  At all.  My sushi was less than stellar, and my spider roll (which I totally ate against doctor's orders) had cilantro in it.  Gross to the max.  Then while we were buying the last of our Christmas making supplies we both got sick.  Awesomesauce. 

So date night helped a little, mostly because I have a great husband and he makes me laugh with his nuttiness.  And the fact that I can say something ridiculous and he thinks it funny.  And because he thinks my SpiritHood is sexy. 

And I think my empathy is turned up a little too high these days.  I was feeling totally fine, then I read @JenFriel's psych ward post, and it really...brought me down.  I felt so proud of her for being able to share and grow from the experience, but the pain she went through turned into my pain.  Empathy has always been one of my biggest assets, but it doesn't always work that way, I suppose.  I have to find a way to dial it back to some sort of manageable level so I don't get so defeated when someone else is hurting.  Silly silly. 

Meh, find me on Twitter.  And Facebook.   And goodnight.

How to properly say #ThankYou

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

While I am quick to adjust my life to the ever changing digital world, there are a few things that I just refuse to update.  I don't call people, I only use emails if I have to, and I never print my own pictures.  But I do handwrite and mail thank you notes. 

Here's the thing.  I like giving presents, but I really REALLY like having those gifts appreciated.  So I do my best to always make sure everyone knows I appreciate the things they do for me.  While I am good with brevity, a thank you is not the time or place for it.  A quick' thanks' on someone's wall is better than nothing, yes.  But I thought out and sincere note is a big deal, and is sure to guarantee that the person you are thanking will extend their generosity again. 

So this Christmas, take some time to really thank people.  You don't have to go all midevil like I do and handwrite and mail something (but that really is a nice and simple thing that will make someone's day).  Email, FB message, DM or text out a full thank you.  A good thank-you note includes 1)what you got, 2)what you are going to do with it and 3)how much you appreciate/love it.  Generic, short notes are sad, and will make the person you are thanking feel like you don't actually like it, but you are saying thanks because you have to.  Here is a good example:

Jen2,

Thank you so much for showing me how to properly say thank you.  I know it will really make people feel special this holiday season, and instead of being a doucher that expects nice things, I will be seen as appreciative and deserving.  You are the best, and I appreciate you taking time to help me out.

See?  Easy Peezy!  And you are welcome! 

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