<editorsnote>Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world. We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!!</editorsnote>
Considering our country's current economic state, you may find it nice to know that an artist has taken it upon herself to give you her new album for .69 cents. (hehehe 69) ... plus she takes paypal. Who am I speaking of? Why the mystical and magical Amanda Palmer, wife to one of my favorite authors Neil Gaiman.
She has something about her, you either hate her music and find it impossible that anyone could find it entertaining, or love her to the point where a restraining order needs to be taken out. I'd be in the latter. She is a no holds barred songstress and artist. Her previous band the Dresdon Dolls proved that not all music has to sound like the manufactured shit you hear on the radio. She pens masterful songs and delights in her fans as she tours the world looking for any new excuse to live each day like her last.
I just bought this album, and it is SOOOOO good. The song Map of Tasmania had me rolling. It'll resonate with you if you are into quirky, whimsical and thought provoking music. She's a powerful creator ... so run not walk to her site and buy her music.
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ashleighmayes and @saintpepsi
Jordan: Hey all, Ashleigh and I are back for another round. Did you miss us? I'll assume you did. In this article we're going to dive into which bite is worse: a Vampire or a Werewolf. Yes, yes, I know. Zombie is the worst! Your skin falls off, you lose the ability to speak properly, and your taste for decent food goes right down the drain. So under the assumption that being bit by a ZOMBIE is easily the worst of viral mouth associated viruses, we'll run right on to the next two bites. I'll be arguing for Vampirism being the worst.
Ashleigh: I have to disagree, dearest Saint! Being bitten by a WEREWOLF would be the crappiest bite you could have in your entire life. Think about it! You get bitten by a savage beast and all of a sudden your life changes. I know, I know. Getting bitten by a Vampire can't be fun either. At least when you're bitten by a Vampire it's usually a smokin' hottie! You don't WANT to resist! Ever been attacked by a large dog? I have! It's NOT fun! Add to that about 200 pounds of muscle and a pissed off temperament! A Werewolf doesn't want to merely BITE you. It wants to EAT you!
Jordan: I'll give you that. Especially, since you may be a werewolf. That time you were attacked by that vicious dog may have left you a cuddly monster. Sure, a werewolf attack is pretty brutal, but if you survive you heal up pretty fast and you're not DEAD! Things a vampire can't do but a werewolf can: how about live a normal day to day life? Stand in the sunlight, enjoy food, and not have to murder to eat. I mean how often are there full moons, anyway? Like 3 months of the year? If you're a vampire, it's 24/7. Then again, they are pretty damn sexy and when you don't have a soul you can justify anything.
Ashleigh: Ever seen the stories where little kid/woman/man is burned at the stake for committing so many murders? Know what that is? Because when you're a werewolf, you don't have ANY control when you're beginning to change, during the process, and after your transformation. If you're a werewolf, you're literally doing EVERYTHING against your will during a full moon. It's like you don't exist anymore and this beast comes in and takes over. And what about those that kill their family? When they get back to human state, they get to live with the guilt of killing their loved ones forever! At least, for the most part, Vampires have control of their mind and actions. It could be argued that they don't have complete control, but ANYTHING is more control than running miles on end and shredding smaller, weaker living beings to confetti.
Jordan: Oh come on! A Vampire terrorizes families, they hold grudges eternally (which means they can literally murder the entire family tree), they can track and kill like an animal but it's their choice. They are the purest form of evil, flawless hunters. They are SOULLESS. They exist without a soul. That's an indescribable pain. Worse still is what is the fate of that soul. Is it damned for eternity for being at the wrong place and the wrong time. Is it trapped inside a body witnessing the indescribable acts of cruel and horrible deeds done with their body. What if the soul lives on cursed to witness such things and just shrivels and dies?
Ashleigh: That's bad, yes. But think about it. When Vampires are transformed, they become an alternate form of a person. When Werewolves are made, their alternate form is a DOG. What does that mean to one cursed forever as a Werewolf? FLEAS. TICKS. WORMS. Jordan...if YOU were a vet, would YOU help a Werewolf out by sticking a pill down it's throat? Hmmmm?? So...I guess we're at a wrapping point! Any final thoughts, Jordan?
Jordan: Honestly, you know I wouldn't. Thinking back it would suck so much to live with the guilt of all the things you did as a werewolf. I can speculate all I want on how awful it would be to be soulless but to have that soul with you, the after images of the nightmarish deeds you did. No Ashleigh it would suck far more to be a werewolf. I give it to ya you, trumped me solid. Then again you were attacked by a dog. I was never attacked by a vampire. I once helped fight off a bat in our dorms, but that's about as close as I got. So there you have it folks! Next to zombies, werewolves were easily the next in line as worst bite. Here's to Ashleigh, for arguing so fervently on the side of the Lycans. Till next time... keep your running shoes on. Because, no matter what's chasing you they will always catch you in flip flops.
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When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to watch TV, in fact we didn't even get cable till after I went to college. My mom thought I would fall victim to the brain dead masses that rarely used their imaginations. (It may have been for the best because now I use my imagination a lot.) Still, I would sneak away to friend's houses and try and steal glimpses at those moving picture boxes.
It was with the greatest luck that I happened upon Punky Brewster in my youth. This was a show way before it's time I thought and brought back the innocence and lack of inbred hatred towards other races. Albeit I was always miffed at how the older gentleman was able to just adopt a little girl. Hey, it was a different time back then. Not to mention I always thought that guy looked like the guy that lived above the Fraggles in Fraggle Rock.
So, lets see where the cast of this energetic children's sitcom have found themselves. Starting of course with Soleil Moon Frye.
Soleil has kept herself very busy in fact bouncing from gig to gig and doing quite a few voice acting roles in-between. She found herself in all kinds of pop up roles in many different sitcom from Saved By The Bell to Friends. Her next major role, acting wise, came along with Sabrina the Teenage Witch in which she played Roxie King, and finally finding her place in The Proud Family.
She is now an avid tweeter and you can follow her @moonfrye.
Moving on to the best friend in the series Cherie Johnson. Who in the show was also named Cherie Johnson. I remember asking her why she had just went with her own name and recall her saying that it got a better response from her as a child actor. Makes sense to me. I had the great fortune to make Cherie's acquaintance through a friend in the business. If that's not a story as old as time. This woman is an inspiration. She takes the world in her hands and just runs with it. If she wants to do something she puts her mind to it and makes sure she follows through. After Punky Brewster she not only found herself in other roles but went on to write and produce a few movies. She recently wrote a book called Around the World Twice. Which I encourage you to look into. I know besides acting she has new and wonderful things to look forward in the future. When they say keep an eye on that person, they are going somewhere. Cherie is easily one of those people to watch. Not to mention being drop dead gorgeous. Just saying! Feel free to follow her on twitter at - @cheriejohnson75
Next up we'll look into the stoic father figure George Gaynes. This guy was on Matlock. I mean talk about taking me back. That actually was a show I watched with my folks. Always been a sucker for procedural law drama. He was the Editor in Chief for the show Dinosaurs. I realize I'm throwing out names of shows you young bloods have never heard of but this guy is epic piled on top of awesome. He was even in Police Academy. In any case he hasn't done much acting wise after 1999. I realize he's probably retired but man this guy had some awesomeness about him. He even played Henry Higgins on stage. Oh Goahawn! A true actor of the old days; he could sing, dance, act and make you laugh. To my knowledge he's not on twitter. Let's count our blessings that he's still with us ... wow!
So that's the three major roles ... Let's see how the supporting actors or a few of them at least have done. First up out of three I found Eddie Deezen. He played Eddie Malvin. Very funny guy and lets here it for all round awesome cinema NERD! You may better remember him as the nerd from Grease. Something, I have to assume almost everyone has seen. Still, he has had many more amazing roles. Mainly, as a voice actor and boy does he have a recognizable voice. This guy worked with Weird Al I mean come on totally awesome. So he was Mandark or Dexter's main nemesis. He was Ned in Kim Possible and played Know It All in The Polar Express. The man is a voice acting wizard.
Next up T.K. Carter who played Mike Fulton on Punky Brewster. This guy ened up in Thing which is still one of the scariest movies I have ever seen. Hands down. He was on several comedy shows such as Sinbad, and The Steve Harvey show. Furthermore, just to make me super jealous he acted side by side with the absolutely beautiful Keira Knightly in Domino. Looks like he tapped out with an appearance on Everybody Hates Chris. Still props to him for being in part of something that I still have nightmares about.
Lastly, one of my favorites Timothy Stack. He played Simon P. Chillings. This guy is famous for being himself. That's a hard reputation to gain but man he deserves it. Not only has he had many voice acting roles including Lampy as one of my favorite animated movies the Brave Little Toaster. He was in a series called Son of the Beach as Notch Johnson. He was in Night Court, Laverne and Shirley, and THE GOLDEN GIRLS. BETTY FUCKING WHITE!. Most recently, he appeared as himself in My Name is Earl. Funny guy check him out.
So that's what i got for the Punky Brewster where are they now thing. Cherie will probably tell me I forgot something but alas. I must work early tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed revisiting the past with me.
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @ashleighmayes and @saintpepsi
Jordan: Hey, all! It’s time again for another edition of Nerdy Neutrons. I’m SaintPepsi and we got Ashleigh Mayes in here as well, of course. This time we’ll be diving into the relationship thing. A guy dates a girl hoping she’ll never change, and a girl dates a guy seeing him as a work in progress. Keep the girl, change the guy.
Ashleigh: I think we’ll be in complete agreement on this one. I personally can admit to taking part in this. BUT, with growing up, I’ve realized that with TRUE love, it just doesn’t happen. Often, the problems with relationships ARE that the guy won’t change or that the girl DOES. It’s funny how that works. Instead of arguing points tonight, we’ll dive into the reasoning behind this phenomenon.
Jordan: Sounds like a plan to me! I think we can both give some pretty decent insight into this. Seems like every time you get into a relationship that you aren’t really sure of, these two things get in the way. When you meet a girl and you know she’s into you, those first three months you’ll have a great experience because the girl is trying to be everything you want her to be. It’s like the relationship starter kit. The sex is crazy spontaneous and when ever you want it or can justify it. You go out and experience all new things or even old things you both enjoy but they are new because you’re doing them together. It’s when the lies stop and all the fronts and walls you put up come falling down to the reality and truth of who you both really are.
Ashleigh: I think you’re right, to a certain extent. I don’t believe it’s a deceitful as you’d have everyone believe. I believe that the perfectness of the relationship is due to testing the waters and not quite being comfortable with each other. When the newness wears off, the people get comfortable with each other. When you reach that level of comfort, who you really are comes out. But why do we find things to change about guys? Why don’t guys want girls to change?
Jordan: Personally, I think it's from the amazing first impression you gals leave on us. I look at girls like a form of drugs. That first moment is magic. You become completely dumbfounded by the power and grace a girl holds. Those luscious curves, the dark dreamy eyes drawing you in, the intoxicating aroma from whatever perfume she happens to be wearing and that whimsical smile playing with our hearts. Like a Christmas present all put together and daring to be opened. Or perhaps like one of those Russian dolls. Each time you take it apart, a new and more exciting thing hides inside. You girls are all together enticing and it's that magic that we find in the beginning that sparks our hearts to bend to your every will and desire. Also, why I think before we even know it we have started changing little things to keep you gals happy and smiling is you catch us unsuspecting and we are powerless before your charm and smile.
Ashleigh: So you're all about the first impression, eh? Well for me, I have to know a boy. Yeah...it's cute to have a little smile or whatever when I'm people-watching a boy, but getting to know him and having him tell me what he thinks/feels is what really, REALLY hooks me. I'm the type of girl that replays a compliment/sentiment in her head for days after it's said. Yes...I know...I'm cheesy as hell. But really! The little things really do matter. In my case, though, it's the little things that make a connection...not my first impression. To me, if a boy is good with words, I'm GONE. I've actually had a relationship not really work before because the boy sucked with words. True story. I think that most of a girl's desire for hearing these sweet things comes from mother effing fairy tales. Seriously??? It's SO warped to get a little girl to believe that someday, her "prince" will be speaking lines of rhyme! As if! I'm not bitter, but I know unrealistic when I see it! I think that THAT is part of the root of the problem. Girls are led to believe that their "soul mates" will be absolutely perfect. Pretty much made for them... I believe that part of what makes relationships so successful is knowing that your partner has faults and loving them despite it! Working with them and understanding that you yourself has faults too! Too many girls don't realize that. They just think their man is going to be perfect. Period. They're trained on this point from the time they can be read to and it's hard to break a habit or idea that's engrained into their minds.
Jordan: I can get behind that. In fact, I make it a point to speak in rhyme... Stop all that rhyming and I mean it. Does anyone want a peanut? In all seriousness... That's something I came across in a recent relationship. I would say sweet things all the time but it would get a partial smile and that was about it. I never really saw how much my words could mean. In that realm I throw in fishing for compliments. This is one of those things that starts to happen when you get comfortable in a relationship and a dumb guy stops being as flirty as he should with his girl. Lesson one boys: always flirt with your girl from day one till death do you part. Let us know with kisses sweet and smiles so mischievous. For the most part we are walls that you have to break down. Men won't get subtly at all and really need that point blank sentiment. So princes we may not be, but if we are there and trying, we are in it with you because we want to be the prince you are looking for. We want to compliment your soul and seek to do so avidly. I agree so much though that Mr. Perfect doesn't exist. In fact I think girls should be in search of Mr. Gets Me! Clicking with someone is far more practical and important. So long as you haven't settled for Mr. Right Now and keep your standards for love high, you'll find him.
Ashleigh: Another thing I'd like to bring up is "daddy syndrome". Ladies, DON'T be looking for a man to make into someone that reminds you of your father! That's just WRONG! Your father was an individual. There's no two people in this world that are alike. If you were meant to marry your father, you wouldn't be his daughter. That's called incest, my dear! Don't try to make your boy be your dad!
Jordan: So long as we're throwing out advice, guys, open your eyes. Girls don't tell you when things are bad in their life. It's all in their mannerisms. If you ask a girl how things are going and she shrugs and gives you a half hearted answer, she’s not feeling well. Something’s up and it's your job to make her smile again. It's all in the mannerisms and the tonality. Inflections in voice will tell you more tales of how she is feeling than any solid answer would. Learn to read her face, her tones, and her demeanor. That's where clicking comes in so much use. You can tell just about all you need to know from every little thing she does. Wow! this became a little more than I suspected. So I'll take it upon myself to wrap this one up. In general let’s say that chances are the person you meet isn't the person you'll get to know and love. We all have walls we put up to protect our hearts and its brining those walls down that allow us to get to the real relationship we will treasure. Patience and acceptance and the two greatest attributes you can apply to any relationship. Let the person you are starting to understand be who they are so you can accept them. Ashleigh will you sign us out with your sage like wisdom?
Ashleigh: In honor of the snow that most of the U.S. has just had: don’t eat the yellow!
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Follow Jordan! @saintpepsiFollow Ashleigh! @kryptodies and @ashleighmayes
It seems an unspoken rule that women are allowed to have sex toys. We don't talk about it. We don't mention it in groups, but no one is ever that shocked to find out that a girl has a vibrator. Maybe it's because the sexual imagery or porn have made it easy to think of a girl and a vibrator.
Four years ago I didn't even know they had male sex toys. It wasn't until I caught a few episodes of Kevin Smith's www.smodcast.com and the DVD's they did with him called An evening with Kevin Smith. He started talking about how it was such an amazing experience. In my head I thought but he's married- turns out his wife was totally on board because he was a morning boner and she liked to sleep; the sex toy fulfilled a carnel morning desire.
It was a toy called the Fleshlight and ever since Kevin Smith bought it, he said it was worth every penny. Always skeptical I did my own research. Going to their site www.fleshlight.com, you quickly realize it's the #1 selling sex toy for men on the market. Its use of a patented real skin material make the pocket pussy feel like a real vagina. Still at this point just speculation. They had all sorts of different ways you could customize your man sleeve. With 3 obvious and different orifices you can buy, those being the ass, vagina, and mouth. Depending on just what you wanted from your purchase you can also get the insides changed up with different textures. Bumps, ribbed, waves and many other unique patterns designed to get you off faster than you do when the boss says you can clock out. The whole aperture is about 10 inches tall. This doesn't mean you need a 10 in donger to use it. It's mainly suited for an average sized man to fill respectably. The bottom length the last 4 or 5 inches is used to create a kind of vacuum effect. Holding you manhood in as you try and pull it out. At the base of the fleshlights case is a turnable piece of plastic. You can loosen it or tighten it. The looser it is the more air gets in allowing for less of a vacuum feel. Twist it as tight as you can and the pressure becomes insurmountable. Add a bit of water based lube on the opening and you have yourself a good time.
So story as old as time I asked for one of these for Christmas 3 years in a row. I never really expected anyone to get me one but wouldn't it be comical if they did. Was just this last Christmas when I wanted to give back to my roommate for all his kindness and gift giving. He gets me pretty rad stuff for Christmas and Birthdays. So I got him one of those legit FX lightsabers. A pretty penny I know but well worth his friendship. He wasn't about to let my kindness go unmatched and set out to get me a gift he knew I wanted. Yes folks my roommate whom I am very proud of took me to a sex shop and had me pick out my very own fleshlight. There are many off brands but fleshlight was the only one that had that rare for real feel. So we got the thing and I brought it home.
The fleshlight was pretty big I remember thinking and he got me one based off a real pornstars girly bits. It had a list of things you had to do to prep the little bugger. Soak in warm water to mock body temp, apply lube to whole insert and repeat. So I gave it a go. It didn't feel like the real thing. Obviously nothing can match the dark secrets that lay between a lady's legs. However this did grant you about as close as you could come without having the real thing. Cleaning it can be slightly awkward but nearly as awkward as drying it as sometimes company will use your bathroom and finding an unsheathed pocket pussy is hardly proper dinner conversation. I will attest that yes it's worth trying and keeping. It helps build stamina in the real bed. It grants you a sweeter release than you hand could have ever hoped to achieve. If you are a single man and have no means for copulation then by all means spind a few dollars and whisk yourself away to a fevered land of awesome ecstasy. If not keep tugging away with your tired and over used hand.
Saturday, January 22, 2011 at 6:22PM
