The Flow of #Seduction: A Game in Which No One Loses

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

I’m sitting in the middle of the stairs right below the cathedral in Cologne, Germany. It is one of these days at the end of spring when the sun burns really hot; dark, grey clouds hang miles above your head; and the strong wind tells you that it will rain in a few hours. I flip back the pages of my notebook as the wind turns them over again. I write down a sentence “talk about stuff that get her into a flow”. Wind flips over my page.

I am happy. It was a very good weekend; I met new people, thought new ideas.  The  sun shines and wait a second. She is cute. Pitch black long silk hair, a ponytail that you want to pull, her mouth wrinkles in a relaxed smile and she fights against the wind that flips over the pages of her book. I watch the scene for a second. Would I like to talk to her? Yes. Would I like to love her? From what I see so far, yes.  So I go.

I get up, take slowly the few steps towards her and sit down next to her and say the first thing that
comes to my mind. “Hey, you’re cute. What do you read?"  She blushes a bit, but as I opened the
escape road to respond to what she reads, she only gives me a clue that she is enjoying that
compliment. In this moment I realize that she is attractive and that we should come together in a physical way. In this moment I feel the flow in which our emotions can spread. We can both play the game of seduction; we can allow ourselves to play without having to win. Seduction is not a competition where one moves his army across the other’s battlefield and burns every village on the way so that there is no place left but sex. Seduction, as I think of it, is a game for adults.

A game where no one fights, but players entrance one another, where worlds collide as both share their world with the other one, no one gets hurt and no one can fail. At one point in time the game will be over and the memory will stay behind. This point can be reached after 5 minutes, 5 days, a kiss, sex, a year or 50 years. It will come when one of the players figures that the game is over. But until then it happens what happens.

Seduction is a game that flows, it is not to be seen as mechanical it also does not end after sex. Seduction is a lifestyle, an emotion and an idealistic goal.

Now I have got a different view on seduction than most of the people in the seduction community.  What I do is in flow. Many call it “natural.” It sure feels like “natural” but then again it is just one way of many to talk to a person. It might be a bit romantic or sleazy” but then again: “There is no girl who wakes up and says to herself: I definitely won’t get swept off my feet today.” In my experience almost everyone looks for a little bit of dreaming, fantasizing, and romantic in his life.

Seduction allows us to open up our bad sides and our good sides to create a tension that flows right
into a sea of passion. A sea where people can just let go and enjoy themselves as they are and enjoy
the moment they share.

Seduction starts when she seduces me. The very second that I think thoughts about her she seduced me. She seduced me in a way that I think: “Uuuh, cute little girl” ... “ I love that skirt on her.”  I let her seduce me  so far. I allow her to get me into the flow of seduction. The flow in which she plays with my thoughts and I play with hers. “That black dot right above your lips, I find that really sexy.”  The second she makes me think dirty thoughts, the game starts. I want her to think dirty thoughts too. So I walk up with her. I don’t know what I will say; it will appear the second that I stand before her. Most of the time I already know what to say: She seduced me. She made me think something about her.

What is better than this to start a conversation with than that something I just thought about her?
That little thought that she made me think. I want her to know that she seduces me. She will love it! Most of the girls do. If she does not, well, she is good for sex and a one night stand but this girl has no heart in communicating with people. I want passion and love in my life! I do not like girls that are too eager to play out their cards or their bitch shields. I am into girls that realize that there is a flow in a conversation once you let happen what comes up. This flow is seduction; it is passion; it is heart.

On this flow the two of you can glide into an unknown future, and yes we are adventurers of our own stories. Who knows what future you will find with her, sliding deeper on that flow. Maybe one day you will wake up next to her in your bed and think: What a cute little girl. I loved to pull her ponytail and see her pupils widen in ecstasy.

This is a bit of a different view on seduction maybe. It is one that is very successful for me and moreover, it is full of passion and heart. This way is a bit different and it follows different rules. I invite you to join my way and have a look at how I do it. Stories like this cannot be unraveled in one article, as a way does not unravel itself with the first step. Be patient, we are going towards seduction, and yet we are already in between.

To learn more about how to meet & attract women, check out www.afterhello.com

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#JustDoIt: Embrace Your Humanity and Let Her See Your Vulnerability

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

Have you ever had that situation happen to you? You know, the one where you are with someone you are really into, and you do something RETARDED? You know, falling out of bed while trying to be seductive; pushing so hard she actually falls when you’re playing around; stuttering when you first meet her until you get your head together. I’ve heard this happen so often, and it always makes me laugh when I hear it. They’ll get all flustered and red and ask why I’m laughing when they just messed everything up. But the reality is, it could have messed everything up, but more likely than that, it made the girl fall just a little bit more for them.

I had a friend who told me that every woman wants a man who has a side that only she gets to see. A side that only she can unlock, like there is something special about her that opens a door her man keeps painfully closed to everyone else. And then there is the flip side of that, the man who is calm and collected, smooth and powerful, and loses it all because of her stunning beauty and personality. You can see this in any movie where there is a guy who is amazingly attractive, where he is reduced to a stammering mess in his love interest’s presence. Think Hitch, where he kicks the girl on the Jet-ski, or walks around drunk on medicine spilling his life secrets.

So what is it that makes these embarrassing, powerless moments so appealing to a woman? The answer is humanity. Women know when they see a man, especially a well dressed, confident, well spoken man, a perfect man, that he must have flaws. Then when that man expresses interest, they feel like he is too good for them, until something happens that exposes his humanity, something that shows them that their Achilles is mortal after all. This then allows them to connect with the man on a deeper level, because he is now human. To women, it is endearing, and builds a stronger connection.

Vulnerabilities or weaknesses are not, in and of themselves, unattractive. It is the way a man reacts to exposing his vulnerability that determines the attractiveness. I always consider it to be like a knight exposing the chink in his armor because he knows that even if it gets hit, he will be all right. If you are comfortable showing your vulnerabilities to your woman (from a place of power), she will connect more deeply with you. It gives you more in common; it shows her that you too can be shaken, just like her, but that it will never make you topple. But even more than that, it’s something special that not everyone gets to see. For 99% of your life, you are totally put together, in charge, a social powerhouse, but only she gets to see the moment where you stand with your mouth open watching your flambe  explode all over your freshly cleaned kitchen, and the subsequent smirk on your face afterward, when you suggest the new Tappas restaurant you found.

Most guys think they have to be perfect, say the perfect lines, have the perfect witty retort, stand with perfect poise, play the perfect game. But, what they are missing is that strength is not the absence of vulnerability, but rather the ability to stand in spite of it. So they ruin things with amazing women by running perfect robotic game, or by stressing themselves out when it does not all go as planned. But then some realize the power of letting your true self shine through when their lover tells them that she fell in love when she saw the look on his face when he saw that the restaurant he was taking her to had been replaced with a Wendy’s.

I guess what I am saying here is don’t be afraid to let her in. Give her the gift of seeing who you really are, in success and failure, so that you can truly connect. Most guys miss this step, and keep women out of their inner circle and wonder why they never feel connected. Try it, and you will see just how deeply you connect when both of you are present to the other’s humanity.

To learn more about how to meet & attract women, check out www.afterhello.com 

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Pick Up Line O'El Dia

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.

#HowTo: Apply Tenets of Tao Te Ching to Dating

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

One of the things I’ve always liked about Eastern wisdom in general and the Tao Te Ching in particular is its practicality. Before, I associated spirituality with some guy in a long robe spewing stuff about crystal power and channeling dead ancestors and whatnot.  But here was this book — the   Tao Te Ching– which gave you these paradoxical-sounding concepts that made your life BETTER when you applied them. Crazy, huh?
See, I’m a practical kind of guy, which means that I start out as a skeptic, test an idea, and see if it gives me results.  If it does, then hallelujah. Game on. That’s how I got into hypnotherapy, and that’s how I got into Eastern wisdom.  I call this ‘open-minded skepticism’, and I encourage you to try it on for yourself.

There’s this month-long mentor-ship program that I started which utilizes a lot of seemingly esoteric concepts derived from Buddhist, Hindu, Tantric and Taoist traditions.  My job is to bring them down to earth and make them eminently usable. To give you results here, now, on Planet Earth.  Not only actual babes in your life, but also a sense of inner peace and real power, which interestingly enough, makes it a lot easier to have more babes (or that one special babe) in your life.

So let’s talk about this notion of no-self, or ‘anatta’ as it’s called in the Buddhist tradition. For the scholars out there, ‘anatta’ is the Pali word; ‘anatman’ is the Sanskrit term.  You’ve probably heard from a variety of sources that ego bad, no ego good. And by the way, there is no ego.

What the heck does that mean? And how do you make it work?

Let’s start with the old metaphor of the river. If you’re looking at one, close your eyes and open them again.  It may look like it’s the same river, but it’s not. Every water molecule in it has moved, the banks have shifted by some miniscule amount, and it’s not exactly the same river as before. It’s like it’s brand-new every moment.

The ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus said it thus: “You never bathe in the same river twice.”

And so it is with you. Just now, you took a breath, and trillions of molecules of air exchanged in your lungs. Millions of neurons fired as you just read that last sentence, and you’re effectively different from what you were five seconds ago.

So this is not just metaphor — it’s real. Granted, some structures remain stable, which allow people to recognize you from one day to another. But fundamentally, there is no fixed ’self’ to anything.
Everything — and I mean EVERYTHING — is in a constant state of flux.  Now what happens with us people is that we tend to get attached to some notion of a fixed self. “I am a certain nationality. I am a certain ethnicity. My name is Dan. I’m a fan of so and so team. I’m not a partying kind of guy. I like this. I’m offended by that. I’m this kind of person. I’m not that kind of person.”

Oh really.

What if I told you that you could give yourself permission to suspend that notion of a fixed self — just for a little while? And that this suspension would allow you to get better results in life and have a lot more fun? Since these articles are about dating, let’s examine this concept of ‘no-self’ in the context of — what the hell — dating.

Gentlemen. I introduce to you the concept of the Dating Pipeline. Briefly, the seven steps are:

1) Find. Are you going to the places where there are women who are interesting to you? What is the size of the total pool of women in your living area that you could potentially date?

2) Meet. Of those who  catch your fancy, how many are you actually saying ‘Hi’ to?

3) Get contact information. Okay, now you made the first contact. Did you get a phone number or email?

4) Follow-up. Did you actually call or write her in a timely manner?

5) Second encounter. Did that follow-up turn into a date?

6) Progression to intimacy. Did you make out — or more?

7) Third encounter and beyond. Were there repeat dates after the first?

Remember, the power is within you.

To learn more about how to meet & attract women, check out the Toolbox over at the Pick Up Podcast!

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