Hey #Facebook friends, your wedding pictures all look the same

I sit in social media all day. I love it. As a kid, if you asked me to describe my perfect day, it would be sitting in a mall with headphones on watching the people walk by. Literally, I said to my best friend at the time that I couldn't wait until I had my license so I could actually go to the mall more and do that. Yeah, I was born this way, for sure. That being said, it is INCREDIBLE to me, watching my friends get older on Facebook.

See, I'm from Connecticut. I'm 25 - this is the age as a chick where shit gets real, really quickly. By now, I should have gone to college, dated some dude, graduated with a degree that is neither here nor there, gotten married, popped out or be in the midst of being knocked up with 2.5 kids and a golden retriever named Aldus.

Instead, I was a nerd who became a model and actress, said fuck you to all of it, and went on an adventure to find the meaning of life.

However, the gnarliest part about all of this though, is that the life that I "should" have lead, is brought front and center in my newsfeed on Facebook every.single.day.

I saw the relationship status changes, the "I've added children ...," I've seen every holiday, every birth announcement, every address update to reflect the purchase of a new house ... and yet it STILL doesn't interest me. I watch my friends who I grew up with who SWORE they would follow their dreams or die, slowly slip away to the life that was dictated to them via the previous generations. We were the class of 2002! We were the new generation, we were the ones that were going to change everything. What a fucking joke.

Patterns provide comfort.

Knowing at this age, that I could have a hubby who works at a job that he doesn't like, to bring home money which would provide us with things that we buy only to impress our friends, but heck, we never really ever use that china - is just a bunch of rubbish to me.

I barter to get new shoes when my foot falls through the ones before them, I wear what I want to wear because I'm comfortable in it, and I do what I want to do when I want to do it for the simple pleasure that it just felt good!

However, by choosing to work in social media, the life that I "should" have lead is presented to me every day. Smack dab right in front of my face. When the hell has that ever happened? Trust me, I don't regret a single ANYTHING that I have ever done in my entire life, but it just perplexes me enormously. It just all seems to hollow to me. I can respect that everyone chooses the life they lead, and I'm not hating on it by any stretch of the imagination ... but when you grow up with these kids, and you remember their hopes and desires - and every day you are reminded that they are not at all living up to their word ... it just seems a bit heartbreaking to me. It's like the majority of them have lived the last 8 years hitting the snooze button! I would say wake up! Or get with the program!! But again, pattern provides comfort, and fear keeps us consistently desiring a tremendous amount of comfort. The majority of people do not want to in fact "get with the picture" because they are too scared about what is going to happen next! There is no previous generation with a cheat sheet.

I am just as confused as the rest of my generation, but I can at least say without hope or agenda, that from the time I was 2 on ... I have never given up on a single dream. In fact, by staying present and not having a plan or a map, it wound up to be better than I could have ever dreamt. I might not know what my ultimate end goal is in any of this, but that's what's so awesome! I don't have to know. I just am, and I'm just being. This life definitely isn't glamorous, (dude, I ate beef jerky for 30 days) but its mine - and I love it.

#ThatIsAll

What makes a good #lifecaster?

Operating as a 1 woman camera crew in 2008. That's the web cam, attached to a netbook, which ran off of a sprint air card. Awkward situations not included.I've been racking my brain all day trying to figure out if there is such a thing as a "perfect lifecaster." I have 3 people I already know I want to come on board to lifecast, just because I know I find them to be great storytellers and incredibly interesting people overall ... but there is no formula for this type of shit yet. Which is kinda awesome ... gives you room to play. MTV's Real World pretty much solidified the reality TV stereotypes ... "the hot chick, the dumb jock, the thoughtful one, the class act, the gay one, and the two that always ended up dating for the entire season." But what the hell makes a good lifecaster? It's definitely not something everyone can do. I've tested that theory, it's just not pretty. 

First off, I've just been thinking about what the hell is a lifecaster? The best definition I could come up with is someone who dictates their life across the workable elements of social media. That's my standard definition when people ask me what I do. At any given moment, you can find out what I'm watching (via @gomiso), where I am (via FourSquare), what I'm listening to (via pandora), what I'm thinking (via twitter) ... and be told the entire story combing all of those elements via this loverly little website. 

I tell good stories. No joke, I've been waiting for something like this to happen my entire life. A lot of weird, crazy, random shit happens to me. For reals!!! I've been like this little magnet forever and a day for interesting situations to just be attracted to. Total awesome sauce! But just having interesting things happen to me doesn't make a good lifecaster. You have to be able to tell the story. 

In reality TV you have producers, editors, directors, a whole SLLEEWWW of people behind the scenes that watch what you do and figure out a way to tell the story with the footage they've captured. Lifecasters have to be able to tell the story in real time as it is happening in 140 characters, followed up with either a video or blog post after. It's night and day. I think eventually this art form will have producers, directors, and whatever else ... but we're currently in the trenches. So, we've got to figure this shit out for ourselves. 

I'm totally figuring this out today, so if you guys have any ideas on what makes a lot of this interesting, and what doesn't I'm totally game to hear it. I need to write up these guidelines to give the lifecasters before they officially begin ... and I'm kinda just stuck. 

Tweet me: @JenFriel or Facebook my butt: Facebook.com/jenfriel

Thanks in advance!! xoxo 

#ShitGotReal: This time, not so good

MMMMM ... snot ... so sexy ...

Holy shit. I feel like I literally just had the wind knocked out of me. No, wait - that would have been easy to take because you could actually catch a breath again. Just got some horrible news on a personal level. I can't talk about it, as its not my thing to talk about ... and the person involved just doesn't want to tell people. I have to respect that. But this is my therapy. I have nothing else to turn to. I knew something was up. I just knew it. Kept thinking about my grandmother all day ... and DUDE! Literally 30 seconds after I posted on her, I got the call.

It was one of those where the person tells you - and you just drop the phone. There just are no words. But I still stand by everything I said earlier. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. is precious. Its all encompassing regarding relationships, family, everything.

Give every day, everything you've got.

I just ... need a minute to breathe.

I refuse to google at this point. Information isn't always power. Sometimes you just have to let things sit, and just let things be. This is one of those moments. Trying to access information isn't going to actually make me any saner.

I'm just posting this as a way to process, not looking for sympathy - or anything ... cause if I was I would like totally tell you ... HA! Shameless, who me? But life just got very real. And all I have to say, is if you thought I was motivated before .... ohhhhhhhh you ain't seen nothing yet.

Keep on rockin out el nerdy folk. You guys keep me going. #NerdsUnite

#WhatsUp: The Pitfalls of Being a Lifecaster

I can't stand it when people ask me "what's up" or "whats new?" I operate as a lifecaster, I literally publish everything that I do. It creates this odd social dynamic that I am still trying to figure out how to deal with. Let me preface this however by saying that contrary to what I grew up hearing, I do not believe the world revolves around me. Quite the opposite. However, I do see the analytics on this site. Mama didn't raise no fool.

That being said, I get one of two things.

The "oh wow, had no idea" reaction of, wow I just read that on TNTML - but I am not really ready to admit to you that I read your site and already knew that ... or the "yep, totally read about it," cool and confident response.

I prefer the second. Dude, if we're friends IRL and you have me somewhere in your social network, chances are good - you know what I'm up to. Don't lie, it doesn't mean you're stalking me ... I tweet, facebook update, and foursquare checkin like its my job, because it is! Furthermore, if you're a new character in my life, ie. reaching out via OKCupid, or some other insane in the membrane new person ... please for the love of all things holy don't belittle what I do, or ask how "the web thing" is going. Its the quickest way to never hear from me again.

I take what I do incredibly seriously. I am still figuring this out - but if we hang out IRL, and you read this site, tell me!!! I'd like to thank you. It also makes it incredibly less awkward for me when I can read your face and know that I know that you're reading this site, and you're not telling me. I think that's weird. Like your mom. No wait, not your mom ... like your brother's cousin's facial mole that has that weird hair growing from it like the dude from Mannequin 2: On the Move. Yeah ... you're like that.

#ThatIsAll

#LifeCasting vs. We Live in Public

Okey dokey raviokey ... I just finished watching "We Live in Public" *cue @gomiso checkin*

I've been trying to explain this notion of lifecasting to the uber big wiggie people with money - and a few of them have seen this film, and keep asking me what the difference is. Having not see it, I wasn't able to really comment ... but HOLY CRAP that guy is insane!!!!!!!!!! Definitely a visionary, as he foresaw the whole fascination of social media and the notion of broadcasting your life ... but come on!!! A gun range, and drugs, and THAT many people!!?!?!

Okay okay ... here's a bit of the back story per wiki:

The film details the experiences of "the greatest Internet pioneer you've never heard of,"^[1] Josh Harris. The dot.com millionaire founded Pseudo.com, the first Internet television network during the infamous tech boom of the late '90s. After achieving prominence amongst the Silicon Valley set, Harris became interested in controversial human experiments which tested the effects of media and technology on the development of personal identity. Ondi Timoner documented the major business-related moments of Harris's life for more than a decade, setting the tone for her documentary of the virtual world and its supposed control of human lives.^[1]

Among Harris' experiments touched on in the film is the art project "Quiet: We Live in Public," an Orwellian, Big Brother type concept developed in the late '90s which placed more than 100 artists in a human terrarium under New York City, with myriad webcams following and capturing every move the artists made.^[2] The pièce de résistance was a Japanese-style capsule hotel outfitted with cameras in every pod, and screens that allowed each occupant to monitor the other pods^[3] installed in the basement by artist Jeff Gompertz.^[4]

The film's website describes how, "With Quiet, Harris proved how, in the not-so-distant future of life online, we will willingly trade our privacy for the connection and recognition we all deeply desire. Through his experiments, including another six-month stint living under 24-hour live surveillance online which led him to mental collapse, he demonstrated the price we will all pay for living in public."

"He climbs into the TV set and he becomes the rat in his own experiment at this point, and the results don't turn out very well for him^[5]," says Timoner of the six month period Harris broadcast his life in his NYC loft live online. "He really takes the only relationship that he's ever had that was close and intimate and beaches it on 30 motion-controlled surveillance cameras and 66 invasive microphones. I mean his girlfriend who signed on to it thinking it would be fun and cool, and that they were living a fast and crazy Internet life, she ended up leaving him. She just couldn't be intimate in public. And I think that's an important lesson; the Internet, as wonderful as it is, is not an intimate medium. It's just not. If you want to keep something intimate and if you want to keep something sacred, you probably shouldn't post it."

The film includes commentary from internet personalities Chris DeWolfe, Jason Calacanis and venture capitalist Fred Wilson.

Kind of gives you a good idea of what I'm talking about if you haven't seen it ... and here's a vid:

Alrite, now I feel like we are more on the same page. But let's break a few things down here ... this guy is bat shit crazy. I know I have my moments of insanity, but I also did some really rad soul searching (thanks good ol' buddha!), and have very honestly never been more "solid" for lack of a better word in my entire life. I know my shit, and drugs, alcohol, whatever - dude, I even gave up caffeine to see what organic awesomeness was like. Josh Harris, I am DEFINITELLYYYY NOTT!!!!!!!! I think as far as the medium is concerned, yes he was without a doubt onto something - but his timing was off. In 1999, when he started his experiment, we were not at the same tipping point we are now with the online medium. It was still reserved for the nerds in the basement, and the creepers jerking off on yahoo chat. To say it is night and day is an understatement. Both the actual technology was not ready, as broadband was not readily available until 2005, and the end user ... the people who were supposed to be the ones broadcasting their lives, were not comfortable in cyber space. It was just off, off, off, off, off. Timing was SOOO friggen off.

Broadcasting video 24/7 does not work. I tried it on LiveVideo - I was PhotoJeNic on that site. It's not very interesting. What I do is across all the workable elements of social media. From where I go, thanks to FourSquare - I can checkin, and the end user at home watching ... can see a map of where I am, even a menu. Whatever they want. I can tweet while I am there, and even twitpic what is around me. Should I choose to actually go live with video content, I can via UStream, and enhance the quality of the feed via an Owle Bubo. This is on lock - it's there ... and anyone can do it. But it CANT CANT CANT CANT CANT be done 24/7. Just doesn't work. There are times that I need a break, I need to breathe - but I am also 25, single, with not a single attachment to anything material in all of the world. I've created a weird environment where I can control variables better, and do it all myself. He had SOO many people involved with his experiment, and its something that wouldn't translate in social media. We want the engagement, and following that many people - just wouldn't work. The audience interacts with me directly. I answer every email, every tweet, every anything from anyone. No bullshit, no "people" doing it for me ... it's all real, and organic.

Josh was definitely on to something with his experiment, but again - right place, right time, right frame of mind.

#NuffSaid

PS. Totallyyyy see the flick if you can - it rocked my nerdy socks off!!!