Analysis of a #Sexually Frustrated Female

*ice chewed in the background* Oh my oh my oh my ... I am sexually frustrated. Like really ... this is intense. I am a fiercely passionate person. It's just this rush that runs through my entire body that confirms the fact that it is the GREATEST time to be alive. Oh yes ... oh yes ... clearly, that rush runs through all parts of my body which makes me a very horny chick.

I haven't been in a relationship in well over a year, but through the good grace of running a website, I have been able to have my physical needs met for quite some time now. It was a good. good. good. summer. HAHAHA!! =) Winter? Not so much. Part of that had to deal with my own maturity. I am not ashamed to admit that running a brand is a big turn on for dudes ... I definitely took wonderful advantage of that in my sexual conquests.

Pushing the ego of it all aside, its very factual that a woman can wake up any day of the week and decide this morning she is going to have sex. Even commercially unattractive females in any capacity have some sort of quirk and a vagina that can get a guy's single engine machine running. Straight men are pretty easy to understand. Vagina ... penis ... penetration ... satisfaction ... sleep. Women on the other hand are a horse of a different color.

Stimulation for a female is a mental seduction. A dance of sorts where a whisper in the ear can trigger the thought process that ends with the panties dropped. It's insane ... and I wouldn't change it for the world. I love love LOVE being a female. The only downfall is that not many men know how to dance. It has nothing to do with wanting a relationship, and everything to do with needing a connection. I very literally cannot have an orgasm if I do not feel a connection with a dude. I am a very efficent nerd, if I cannot have an orgasm, I am definitely not going to have sex. One night stands are just the worst, I can't stand them and see absolutely no benefit from the female perspective. I receive no physical pleasure or satisfaction, and half the time end up wanting to fall asleep or leave. It's horrible.

How is it then that we can have this strong physical need that really can't be denied when so few men have a chance of actually fitting the bill? I know right now, I can walk out this door and have sex. That's awesome ... but won't even come close to satisfying my appetite. It's so incredibly. incredibly. incredibly. frustrating that you can receive SUCH satisfaction in what you do all day everyday, and STILL have this hunger that cannot be appeased. Is there a meditation for this? Or some sort of something?? Because I'm literally becoming delirious ... it cannot be good. Half of me wants to start channeling this energy by running across country, while the other half just wants to give up and call it quits. I'm not a quitter, nor am I a cross country runner ... dude, I rock Vans. That would just hurt.

I don't know. I throw myself at the universe by just saying ... please please please send me some super smarty pants, driven, and passionate nerd sooner rather than later. I'm going pretty crazy here, and it is SOOO not kosher for passover.

#thatisall

That #Nerdy Chick wants to get laid

I am not even frustrated in my pursuit in finding a dude, I'm just very literally about to give up. OKC is great, I love it ... hahaahaha the content that is provided from that site is straight up brilliant! But alas, after months on it ... I am still single.

I am a STRONNGGGG believer in the art of creation, and with direct intent and focused energy anything can be possible. Why is it that I can do that in every aspect of my life except for when it comes to finding a mate? So fucking frustrating. I don't really believe in types, or thinking that you know you know what you want. Any time in my life I've ever thought I knew something, I didn't. I have learned go with the flow of it all ... that being said, I am also a horny bitch, and one that needs to get laid.

I like free spirits. You kinda have to be a bit of a wackadoodle noodle to understand the things that I'm into. I love love love my spirithood, being barefoot, and being as naked as possible, always.

I like people that just "get it." We really do create our own reality, we really do become our own thoughts, etc. I live life like that every single day ... I'm tired of being the teacher to dudes. In someone that I want to date, I want them to already know these things and open my own mind up more ... this constant exploration physically and mentally is a HUGE HUGE HUGE turn on.

As far as looks go, I dunno ... I'm attracted to some very weird looking blokes - but I will say that confidence is HUGGEEEEE with me. Own your shit! I can smell fear from a bajillion trillion miles away, and its a big turn off. I get a chance to feel and explore so many things, and it makes me sad that I don't have anyone to share them with. You'd have to understand what I do, and that most people find it to be either oddly interesting, or flat out weird. I'd like to think I am respectful when I am out and about and not on my phone too much, but if I had one thing to save in this world (this site or you), understand HANDS DOWN EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. you will lose. So, don't try. I work a lot, so please have a lot of your own everything going on as to not be bored. Plus, I find it incredibly inspiring hearing about other peoples hustles. Shared experiences ... I loves 'em!

This is my baby ... this is my world ... I'm incredibly incredibly incredibly flexible and easy going ... but I'm also intolerant when it comes to things I don't like. If we don't hit it off, I will walk away, and have no problem doing so. It doesn't mean you weren't a fabulous person ... I just go after what I want, and won't waste my time or yours; life is too short.

So there you go. That's what I want, all that and your penis. Which well, hopefully is nice ... but I want more than just a fuck buddy. Those are brilliant, and were invented for a wonderful reason ... but its too shallow for me.

Here's my twitter: @JenFriel

Here's my Facebook: www.facebook.com/jenfriel

You have to be on one of those for us to get along. I tried the whole, "I dont do facebook" date, and it just got annoying. Annoying isn't sexy. I'm trying to get laid here ...

Alrite universe, show me whatcha got!

Update on Tuesday, January 11, 2011 at 12:00AM by Talk Nerdy To Me Lover

I have a date tomorrow night. Thank you Universe!

Update on Tuesday, January 11, 2011 at 5:41PM by Talk Nerdy To Me Lover

Now, I have a date on Wednesday as well. HAHA!! Loves it. Thanks a heap, universe!

The love of my life #cheated on me...sort of: Part 1

 #TalkNerdyToMeLover’s @JenSquard

My second year in college, an opportunity came up for me to go to Ecuador and do some research for the summer.  I was living with my high school sweetheart at the time, and we had been dating for a couple of years (more on that nutty man later).  We were in that strange period where you feel like you either need to take it to the next level or move on.  We had been having some problems, our relationship was taking a ton of work to keep it going, and we had pretty much turned into friends that lived together. 

I decided to take the opportunity to go to Ecuador, and knew it wasn’t a chance I would get often in life.  I worked my bunskies off in a serious way, and saved enough to pay my way.  In the back of my mind I knew it would likely be the end of us, and I was okay with that. 

When we got to Ecuador, I immediately fell in love with the country.  The group I was with wasn’t huge, about 15 people, so we all go to know each other pretty well.  We spent the first couple of days touring Quito, and I noticed a cutie patooty that I hadn’t really had the chance to meet before.  He was in one of my classes in college, and I remember suggesting the trip to him, but that was it. 

The majority of our group was in Ecuador for a little over two weeks.  Just long enough to tour some of the major ecosystems, do some field research and exploration, and gain a little bit of culture.  Three of us were planning on staying for the summer to do extensive field research on caterpillars and parasitoids.

The first week was spent in the jungle at a biological station (honestly one of the most magical places in the world, I’m sure of it).  The first day there I started chatting with Brian, the cutie patoots that I hadn’t talked to before.  He was pretty quiet, but also a funny guy.  I immediately felt a connection to him, and did everything I could to be near him.  We teamed up for our research, so we spent several days together, trekking through monsterous jungle, up crazy hills, through waist deep water, and into a swarm of flies that took huge chunks of flesh with each bite. 
Yeah, we totally ate roasted guinea pig.
One day I was feeling pretty silly, so I just started sharing my ridiculousness - quoting movies, singing songs, and being a nerd.  At one point I picked something up and said, “Hmm, this tastes like shit” in a british accent, and he said, “Austin, it is shit.”  We made the same stupid face at each other, and then it was like the world turned off around us.  Did he really just complete my idiotic obscure Austin Powers quote?  Is he really finishing these made up songs?  Is he actually laughing at my jokes?  *sigh*

At that point people were getting tired of us and our silliness.  We continued to be giggly and bizarre, and we started learning more about each other.  I found out that he also had a girlfriend of a few years, and was thinking taking the next step.  I’m not going to lie, the pain in my chest made me feel like I was dying.  It was like a huge hole opened up when I realized that this man could never be mine.  And what was I doing falling in love?  I had a boyfriend, of sorts at least. 

I’m not one to change my behavior just because someone isn’t datable.  If I like you, I treat you the same whether you are my best friend, my boyfriend or just someone I’m next to.  We sat next to each other on the boat ride home, and we spent a lot of time together over the next few days.  On our down time in Quito, before heading up into the mountains, we all went salsa dancing as a group.  Before we hit the club, we ate at this adorable little restaurant called The Mango Tree.  We sat at a table alone together, and I remember looking up at one point, and he was staring at me.  It was a look I had never received before, not one of adoration or desire....more like one of longing.  It shocked me, but I totally got it.  It was then that I realized I had found my match.  We danced all night, and I went to bed feeling so strange...the feelings were so intense that I felt giddy and crushed at the same time. 

I spent three months in a hammock in the tropics. Life = good.We spent the next week in a mountain village, and I got way way way sick.  Like way sick.  I only got to participate a little bit because of it, and one day Brian stayed back to keep me company.  We started playing a game of either or.  He would ask a question, and I would pick my preference.  Like, cherries or strawberries?  Hot or cold?  Morning person or night owl?  Funny or scary movies?  We spent the entire day on a hammock, and got so engrossed in our game that we missed dinner and didn’t notice when everyone came back and went to bed.  The final question of the night: Should we?  Answer: Yes. 

That first kiss was beyond hot.  There was so much passion and intensity that I literally thought my heart would burst out of my chest.  I had never felt anything so strong...or anything so right.  The next day we headed back into town, and we both immediately called home to end things.  My boyfriend took it pretty well...his girlfriend, not so much.  But it had to happen, and I was so happy it did.  It is always hard making a major life change like that, especially when you are doing it blindly, quickly, and from the other side of the equator.  He decided not to get on his flight home after the end of the tour, and found a spot doing research for the summer with me.  Things seemed so amazing.  They weren’t.....stay tuned for the continuation of my story!

Find me on Twitter or Facebook - I would love love love to hear your story!

... annndd she moves ... again ...

YAY!! Moving day! Later tonight I'm heading back to Hollywood. See, I don't have a car anymore. Well, let me break that down - technically speaking, the car I paid over $30,000 (bought it brand new, was retarded expensive. never again) for is sitting in the driveway. BUT! I STILL have not paid off my parking tickets, or gotten the car registered in CA - let alone keeping up the insurance. Just is not possible for me right now. I'm all about bending the rules, not flat out breaking the law.

My dad absolutely cracks me up, while back home for a few weeks - he was like, how exactly do you get around? My response, twitter, Dad. All I have to do is tweet ... people just believe in what I do and what I'm about, and they just want to help and be a part of the story.

My dad being a lawyer and a very very very logical human being replied, whatever makes you happy daughter. They're getting it. It's been an incredibly weird year for them watching all of this go down. Can't blame them. I was angry for a while, but you just have to let it go. What good parents in this world would tell you, yes daughter, please - give up everything you've worked for over the years, trash your credit, live off of random people on the internet. Sure, daughter, that sounds GREAT!

Either way, cracks me up ... COMPLETELY illogical ... but I've just been getting so so so much done, it blows my mind. So yahhhh!! That being said, another moving day, need to be in Hollywood to be more centrally located for the next chapter of the story. Being without a car is cool, I have no problem walking ... but not in the Valley. You all saw what happened to me the other day when I tried walking in the Valley DUDE! I'm not a friggen hooker ... oyyy, and I'm not even Jewish.

Moving is always a bit meh for me ... kinda ridiculous to think since I volunteered for this life, but I am still a 26 year old human being who's natural instinct is to be resistant to change ... but who cares. Life is change, adapt or die.

New year ... new chapter. Bring it.

#letsgetiton

*waves* from Los Angeles!

Oh holy brother of a toenail, I am tired. I got in last night, and honestly everything went well ... got a ride from Stouty, (thank you thank you thank you again), no problems with baggage ... I am just drained. Don't know what's up, but I'm just going with it. Must be the holidays.

That being said ... I'm totally playing Plants Vs. Zombies while laying in bed. DUDE THIS GAME IS SO ADDICTING!!! I can't stop. BAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Best game ever!! I have also discovered that I am the worst angry birder ever. Are we making that a verb yet? Because if not it should be.

OOHHHHH and I have a hot date tonight. Like a hot hot hot date tonight. Like mama likes and rawwrrrrrr!! HAHA!! Gotta rest up for shizzles my nizzles.

Dude!!!! Totally crushing on Rihanna something hardcore - have a listen ...

#nerdsunite